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Thank you. Hello, Fresh Matt. I caught you checking on my package a second ago. No, I was reading your shirt.

I can tell like is what is bleach.

I always like to compare like penis sizes though. All the. Yeah. And because he knows is big just to, just to be able to like know that he's bigger than us.

Yeah. I don't compare. I've never asked. I saw him once on a picture. You saw a picture of me. Yeah. He showed me you begged you begged me to see it. It was like you begged him to see. I didn't begin to see about y'all.

But you guys want to go out the hole. Don't call us out because I didn't even want to show it to the entire room. And I showed you a picture. Wait, I think I do remember seeing. Yeah, I think Todd saw to it. Was it you said nice. Yes. Nice Glocke finish.

OK, guys, we have a very special guest here, but we need to do the intro before we start.

So let's do it. It's coffee, baby.

I'm fucking Boston bullets already.

Are you? Yeah, I'm really hot. I have shrunken rosacea, you know, so we begin this is going to be a drunk episode, unfortunately. Guys, welcome back to Taking Heath unfiltered.

Oh, that's awesome. And then our lovely co-host, Matt and Mariah, always looking for a spot on baby. Pleasure to be here. Today, we have a very, very special guest. She flew all the way from the U.K. here.

Now we have a love. Britney Proeski set my camera and ready. You get your face, girl. Hey, everybody. Yeah, there we go. I'm so happy I know you're here. This is a long time coming. I have to tell all of you, I've been watching you since I was a mere child, you know? I mean, really? Yeah.

I was like 15, 16 in high school. How do you know? Twenty three. OK, yeah. Huh. We've been in the game for a long time.

Well, you watch this on Vine like 2012, 2013, 2014. OK, then what's a vine that you saw from us.

Oh Komodo Dragon was a five. The bar. Prove it. Oh my God. That's actually.

That's awesome. Thank you. You're welcome.

Did you make vines nervous? No, I was just laughing. I was laughing, thinking about Britney in like six seconds. Like, you're so much more than six. You know, it was a lot.

I tried I tried real hard with the same sort of characters that I do today. It was a lot of like I remember I made one that was like you all tried drinking the juice out of all the lamps.

My stomach kind of hurts without, you know, did you see that on?

And so, you know, somebody could show you you've been wanting to do this stuff. Well, it was always I've always done social media.

It's just like I think it's fun, but I always did it. But like, nobody was watching my close friends of my family. Right? Yeah. Girl, you're funny. You get it. You don't have to send us the link every time you post. But it was like I always kind of posted it made my friends laugh in college.

I got a burp, so I'm drinking a Bud Light michelotto in college. I had Snapchat and I would post literally like the tic talks that I post today on Snapchat. And it was just like filters and accents and impressions and whatever. And there was a moment in time were like just randomly on Snapchat. I had like twenty five hundred people following me. So it was like I've always kind of posted this shit online, whatever the fuck I post. And on tech talk I got the audience that I probably deserved from the beginning.

I mean, you said it, not me, but I mean that I could have reached is more apt description.

How long were you posting on take talk before like you had one that just three seconds.

It was the first one I ever get the fuck out of. There's no way the first one I ever posted was depression, real check. And it was me laughing at the chocolate chips and brown apples. I've seen that. That was the first time, the first year I ever posted. I posted. I was working at a bank at the time, nine p.m. on a Tuesday. I was like, fuck stupid. Woke up the next morning and my friend sent me a Reddit link of my video and our contagious laughter.

And it was she said, You and I said, yes. Oh my God, I want to download my video and upload it to Dan. So you start on Reddit. That's on Reddit. And the next morning I woke up.

It had 30000 likes and I had like ten thousand followers.

The numbers on tick tock, like no other fucking platform. We have seen these numbers.

They're in our favor. I created everything. We thought it was fake at first. We're like, there's no way the numbers are real people.

It looks like we buy these files. Looks at me like to it makes more sense who these people are, but like just I feel like how democratic the app is and how things can go viral. I mean, from the get go, I had a following. So it's kind of been daunting. But I mean, I've been posting the shit forever. So it wasn't the creativity. Part of it hasn't been a struggle. The audience part of it's been a struggle.

It's like, oh, sometimes, you know, what was inconsistencies.

Yes. And what was funny seven years ago isn't funny today sort of thing.

So you don't say it's been a learning curve, but yeah, having like a fan base now being like looking forward to your I have your post notice on.

It's like why, why you want to text messages that pops up.

I thought, you know that I like I know I'm mentally ill but equally as ill if you're looking forward to my content. So I don't know, it's weird having people fuck with what I've always been doing. Yeah.

It's just like now I don't know you just being yourself. Yeah. For sure. Everybody's timing is different. Absolutely.

So you're Britney broski. Yes. Broski but not. Is that Polish we were recording beforehand. We're recording. And he was like, don't ruin our magic kolache.

And I was like, that's all I realize now. You don't think that's my last name? I do that if that's your stage name.

They have a lot of glitter with broski. No, it's not. You want the back story. So my real love, my my real name is Britney.

Alexis Thomlinson. Thomlinson.

I thought I thought it was Thomasin because you're taking a lossing from like everybody thinks I'm like a Louis Tomlinson fan.

That's why I thought sometimes when I saw that I thought it was because it was like a fan. Everybody did.

But you think I wasn't. Fourteen years old. Deamon Louis Tomlinson. We're cousins. Oh yeah. I mean, I get that all the time when I say right. We're cousins.

Opsware Dimebag I tell grandma say in freshman year of high school you remember like that was like what. Twenty, twelve potato chip. All that.

Whatever bro. Like you like. What's up bro.

No, no it's like a brewski. Yes. It's like what's up Bruschi. I think.

Oh my God. Way I. Yeah, I'm thinking. This old Brownless here, I thought it was like Brosque. I thought it was just like this, like Grob wiping out that type of white I'm English white, nail polish white.

Oh, yeah. It's like the rescue. We don't quite know the w it's broski.

Excuse me, but no Roski like. No, no my bro. See that's what she was saying.

Oh it's my baby brother like like Brattain bro. All of that.

Like there were all the different differentiations of the world of the native species so we could see it was a joke instead of your sorry I was 13, I wasn't thinking so when my career blows up.

So it's broken up roski it's broski. Oh yeah. Well when we met at the streams by the way, drunk all night so we were so nervous.

That makes me feel so good because I was so nervous. Every single creator I've ever looked up to, all of y'all included, was in that fucking room. And I was like, how the fuck am I going to end up on stage and be like me? I think you hit me so good they couldn't have picked a better, great, amazing allograft outfit.

You know, it was it was a lot. And it was it was really like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm here. But we were drunk and I came up to all of y'all and I was like, I love you guys. Hi. We took a selfie together. And then I heard on the podcast the next week you were like, I met Britney.

Brodsky said.

The disrespect I have now, she's like, because when you say broski, it just doesn't sound it sounds like, broski, it's crazy.

Wow.

Yeah. I'm just like this girl. You are just one of the one of the dudes. I'm one of the guy the guys I only vibe with girls. Yeah I see. I just like drama like.

Yeah they just, they give me back. It's a good X Games name.

I only hang out for Britney Bruschi coming down the track.

You choose your character Ibro generally.

Have you try skateboarding. Look like I fucking a skateboard out of these lashes. No. Yeah.

So would you want to transition to traditional media. Oh absolutely. Yeah. I've got I feel like you're the next rebel Wilson. Oh fuck you.

It's all because of the accent that's always Australia. But I like personality wise like I have, I have some big goals and dreams.

Number one, Disney Pixar. Are you kidding me. Dude, how fun would that be to be like a voice actor, like a Disney film? I feel like it's the first Lilly thing aside, there is room for the first female. Late night host David Dobek is clearly next show.

I mean, like it's just kind of a given, but he really would be the next female.

Yeah, he's good. Yeah, I agree. First woman, host of The Tonight Show. But I feel like there really is a vacuum that needs to be filled. It's fucking time. Yeah, I Guerlain. But that's daytime television and Ellen fucking sucks. Sorry Yolan.

If you're listening I don't think I listen to our podcast on the treadmill just like out our airports and toss on like a peloton, like a really, really nice. I just got to like the workout screen.

These guys know that's definitely like in in the dreams in SNL. I'd love to do it. Yeah, I'd love to do it.

It's hard though. Have you been like trying to like involve yourself in and do you do like auditions for voice acting like I'm working on like characters and musical impressions and all that, but it's just so fucking hard.

You get one chance and that's it. I heard you can only audition for SNL one time and if you don't make it, that's like you're done. Yeah, that's how you to do it. You have to do it at the right time. I kind of like perfect.

It has to be under five minutes. Five minutes is all you get.

It has to be like and here's my impression of someone like shooting a dove and it has to be funny and then you have to move on immediately to the next one.

And it has to be like ten in a row, a musical impression and then, you know, fucking whatever else is on the audition and then. Yeah, yeah.

You have original characters and impressions and then you have to be able and they love political impressions to grow. It becomes very useful. Yeah. Yeah.

I imagine the people that are like auditions watching is the whole cast. Oh is that how it is. No, it's Michaels and a couple other people.

Lorne Michaels is like an eighty five year old Britney Burushaski.

Do you have any impressions of what she said. She wants to audition. That's like he's like prove it baby. This is your five minutes. I want to fuck you up. It would definitely be like an Essex character. I would do a British probably adult. I could do a deal easily, like if they were ever to do like a skit, if they put me in the big wig and whatever.

So it would go like, this is my album.

Omoto is 25, but this girl. Thank you so much. Yes. All right. I had something. I had to throw something.

And you're like, no girl is good. Really good. No, no. Adel's from Essex.

No, she's from all Four-Square. She from South London, something like that. She's like, go south. I'll be honest with you, Bob. I don't know. I just I yeah. I don't know how you do.

What can you do a posh accent.

Like, can you switch it up because if you if you like over a glass of. I've been fed up with it, you know, it's like a. librarian. Yeah, he's in the front of the house in the tank. Oh, wow.

That is so what they say. Do your best British accent now because. Well, one night off we go.

Y y y which you know, no good. I myself. He thought, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.

Something like someone's brother.

So I can lot. How are you doing today. What have you done today. How are you doing today. What. What, what. What what.

What what what do I agree with you. I agree with you. I'm so happy with you. I'm quacky.

What does Aggie aggravate.

Oh, we fancy him. I think he's reify. I would place with the front of their teeth like the front we can't buy. So you know what I mean.

You know, gosh, that's so cool that that would be one that I would do.

And I don't. I'm just a girl. Give me give me one.

You know, OK, you could say, oh, I think I fancy him like a lot.

Oh I think I fancy him a lot to Southern America. Oh I think a yeah. Yeah.

You know, we all we all lose it. Once you hit a certain age it happens all the prime was never good. So we're still waiting. We're waiting on it and the race is on. You said you said you worked at a bank. That's good.

You put the little sucker in the the tube in any bank. Chase seemed like a chase.

It was a Wells Fargo. It was a regional north Texas local bank. And I got the job through a mutual friend. And Taylor, if you're watching, I said mutual friend. She's my best friend. Sorry, she's going to be following me. But it was her. My friend got me the job anyway.

I worked in trust and investment services. People trust the people truly believe that people in these eyes I got these puppy dog years.

I worked in wealth management and estate planning.

So it was like I was so funny. Yes. It's just so funny to see that now. I could totally see it, though. Yes.

Oh, because you can fake real quick because all of our clients relied on it was like trust fund babies or it was like eighty five and up, just people with fucking millions of dollars worth of assets.

And I'm like yes, I'm not. And so I would follow my boss to like meetings where it would be like, you know, someone's recently come to a lot of money and we have to like this is boring but like put money into different parts of your life.

Such, you know, they could really have you open up a CD.

Yeah, I'm like, have you considered, like, money market accounts? But I worked there for three months. I was bored to fucking tears, bitch. I was organizing paper clips by size and color and I'm not joking. They were not giving me things to do.

And so I was on my phone and that was when the computer meme happened. It was around August twenty nineteen. I was bored fucking tears in my apartment. I went grocery shopping one day after work and I just watch Cody shows video about the hijacking thing.

That was really your first time trying it.

Yeah, no, that was my my honest genuine. Yeah, she's real. She's trying to be trusted. But yeah. So I set up a camera and I just kind of sides and I got some like cream soda flavored bullshit.

It was really a cream soda flavored gum boots and that's what they're doing there. The flavors.

I like the synergy ones. Girl, you're ill. What the synergy is actually no, it's like good for you, says G.T..

They have come bujar all the time. I drink. I drink it every day for like two years of people did.

Yeah.

The one I tried, I was like, whoa, what the fuck is this. And this little floating in it.

It's, it's like, it's like, it's like amoebas, it's like bacteria gobies.

It does taste like you're mixing just you're finding anything in your closet in your, in your pants and you just mix it together with vinegar and then you drink and that's like yeah, no, it's fermented into like somebody poured crystal light and fucking apple cider vinegar.

Yes. Mary Jane was so perfect because that's exactly what people think. Yeah. Yeah. You're confused. You kind of like it for a second, but it transcended. I mean, this was my first kind of experience with like when you post something online, it's no longer yours.

It does not belong to you.

And that was a hard lesson to learn. Thank you so much. Yeah, I went to college. It was a hard lesson to learn because, like, I'm still working at the bank. So I thought I was being proactive. And I showed my boss, 59 year old Southern lady, didn't know what YouTube was. I was like, I'm safe. But on the off chance that she saw it, I showed her and I was like, this is me.

This I posted the video. But if you see the. Caption me when I asked for the first time card and posted a photo saying that really cool, trying to get a promotion. You see that. You see the likes of you added.

Oh, I could tell he was such a meme, but we're using it and she didn't understand what I mean. So she I was so worried that she was going to think that I was the one posting my face being like me when I tasted cum for the first time.

Oh, my God, it's not me. It's it's a nightmare.

So I showed her I showed her the original video and then the side by side picture that went viral. And I was like, understand what's going on?

And she was like, I don't come out to be going to be like, oh, whoa, what's going on here?

So when you were still working, had somebody come in like are you. No, no.

Because I in our little department, she blew up because she quit the next day to come in. You can't see me work. You know, I'm going to do it was like about two weeks later and she pulled me into her office.

She said, Britney, I found your YouTube, I found your Twitter, Instagram, your tick tock, your Snapchat.

I said, sure, you don't even know what Snapchat was six weeks ago. How the fuck do you know what it is now? She found everything. And she was like, you need to decide if you want to be a meme or if you want to be a corporate professional.

Oh, my God, you have to pay. Of course I want to be a corporate professional. Of course I want to be. I mean, it's like, yes, I want to be.

I own a business. And one of my employees was getting big on it.

I would want them to stay so bad because understand the value, the value of having someone who is first an online culture.

A lot of people think it's just a negative thing and that's it. And that's what she said when eventually.

Well, moving on, like two days later, she brought me into her office and she was like she slid a piece of paper across the table and she was like, we're going to let you go pack up your shit right now. She wrote it down. She wrote it was a printed out piece of paper that was able to inform you. And Texas is an at will employment state. If you know that the first 90 days of being employed, they could fire you because you're ugly and you can't pursue legal action against it.

They fired me on the eighth or ninth day, so they like the work they could out of me and then they let me go. They said the reason that I was being fired was I was on my phone too much because you don't take photos of the chip company.

The Daily we talk about the chip. Julio's over there on the tollway in Keller Springs.

They let me go to Uncle Julio Dallas girls because I feel like you switched it to four different people when you're like, know what? You pay me a couple of weeks or so. You know, I love just I love watching you just change and suck it up.

So you were on your phone too much on my phone too much, which means I was taking hour and a half long bathroom breaks scrolling on Twitter because I love to see the Meems. And I didn't want to sit at my desk and be like, you know. Like, that's disrespectful to my boss, so I made sure to remove myself to the you were so polite, just talk.

You're looking for total paperwork and shit. Oh, I'm reviewing the State of the Union. Yeah. And so I that's what they listed the reason as they made me pack up my shit that day. And I called my dad on the drive home.

I'm so embarrassed to tell you this. I got fired from a bank job because I'm famous, because I'm beautiful and amazing and famous and people love me and want to see me.

I would I would be still so proud of my daughter. Even if she got fired, I'd be like, maybe that means you're doing so well.

You're going to be a great dad. Your job, your job has to fire you because you're doing so well that nobody cares about the tweets. Well, how many really?

Well, it was worth it. OK, like, oh, there was no engagement. I'm wondering, can you take me in the next post? I'll get you eisgruber credit. My parents do better. Yeah. I don't even get I don't know like the parents do better. Oh no, no, no. Not that kind of show dripping down my back. I them continue them. What happened after you. OK, so I got fired.

I call my dad and I was crying. I was so embarrassed. I was in the car and I was like I got fired from a bank job but I'm going to get a job at Outback Steakhouse. Don't worry, I won't be a waitress. I'ma do whatever. And he was like, I won't make you proud of me not go to work. Don't you worry for real.

I was like, I have to make ends meet. And my parents are not the type of parents that are like, well, just move home, baby, it'll be OK. My dad was like, damn, that sucks.

Figure it out, figure it out. Yeah, I like that.

But it's definitely, you know, like it teaches you responsibility. So he was like, be I trust you to make ends meet and you do what you have to do and you know, call me for advice.

I was like, OK, so I started applying for like on the border Outback Steakhouse, a Cracker Barrel Cracker Barrel.

And a week later, I got my first Brandell and it was it's Gumboot. So it was very full. So that's fucking sick. It was very full circle. They flew me out to L.A. while I was out here. I met with like Twitter headquarters, Instagram headquarters, Facebook headquarters, Snapchat. They offered me a Snapchat show, like all this shit. I was like, oh, did you just naturally adapt?

Like, you're just such a natural.

I don't know where you just get what have been making so much content. You've been watching like all of the social media stuff. It was just kind of in you where you like you were like, this is what I've been watching and now I can play ball.

That's what it was, is I've been a consumer of the shit for so long. And now to be, you know, like in the field with the big players, just like, what the fuck?

Who am I? What am I doing here?

Every single person feels and it's the more you realize that, it's like, damn, nobody knows what they're doing. You know, it's very comforting in that regard.

You're such a good sense of humility about it, too, like a lot of people like just like taking the goal. Of course, I deserve this.

This is where I need to mention having an ego, because you're a YouTube tuber and it's all depends on how you started to it's like if you if you worked every day, like if you worked a lot like you loved your parents you like, we're taught to just be humble about everything.

You made your money. You paid for your own shit. You don't turn out to be like a fucking dickhead when you get into this shit.

But that's why I feel bad for this age of, like tic talkers, because even though I'm grouped into that girl, I have a college degree. I work to white collar corporate jobs in America. Like I know, you know, if all this ended tomorrow, I could go back into society. Yeah, but you want to A&M and what about it?

Matt came back. And what about what you know what you know they're asking you. It's my college and you not I'd better go away and never end.

So did you go to A&M because you didn't get any you for it's Texans talking, man, that just that's very bold of you to say. I taught you ti and I said also this is how it is.

And I didn't even apply when I applied to Baylor, they waitlisted me.

Oh. So you, you wouldn't have got it. I wouldn't go. I'm kidding guys. I've got good traditions. We do. It's very koltai. Did you do your ring dunk. You bet.

Your fucking how what does that, what does that Texas. So here's a tradition at Texas A&M. There's a tradition where when you get your class ring, you don't get in a pitcher of beer and you have to do it as fast as you can.

And it's tradition to throw up after you dunk it in the beer, you and then you, and then you chug the beer and then you're supposed to, like, end with the knot. My swollen, sweaty hands wondering in your mouth like this. And that's like whoever has the short amount of time is like the winner or whatever. And you do it with all your friends and they're like themed. So they'll do like, don't go Daimyo.

This is where the students are like, hmm, OK, you take this fight song is literally about Texas A&M, so shut the fuck up.

Oh. Anyways, she told me, when we say goodbye to. Isn't that what we say? I don't know what it's like.

It's like, oh my God, you're like sandy cheeks. Oh, that's you and me both.

But we're like from the same zip code. No, literally. Yeah. You're from Lewisville. I feel very connected to you and Scott. Who you to switch seats, Scott? Well, Scott Hoying.

He's from somewhere in Dallas. Scott. You know, he went to not I kept my fingers out.

Alan Yeah.

I can't seem to like the fingers when I'm on the podcast.

No. Scott Hoying You still behind me. Really? Yeah. He's in the Hollywood Hills and now he's great. Anyway, oh, wait, so wait, you went to Lewisville. Sorry, can we talk about this?

Is this Texas talking? Was he and I say one thing, you say one thing. Gorini, when we met I invited you to my Christmas party.

I wasn't available. I know you were very busy. We went to Houston. I did. This is before Korona. I know I was I was at the Christmas party. I was getting everything together.

My guys, Britney Brodsky's girl, she's back. And she was like, I do remember a couple of the girls about to rob. Everybody, take your places. Everybody get a commercial. We're going to spin around Christmas. She'll get a Christmas kombucha. Yeah.

He's got like one of those quarter machines. You get like a shot of kombucha. You get to bring it up. You get the out of me and the kombucha. You just objectifying me the whole day. I'm so glad I missed that. No, it was sounds like a great party. That was so nice. I was.

Can we talk about the streamers really quick. Got to go on a night. What a fun night. By the way. The is before she does extremisms an award show for like social media. Yeah.

Very lame love extremists would do it again when you think about it. I mean when you're outside of the Internet bubble, it's really like, who are these people? It is literally trying to explain it to my grandparents was so humbling.

Like, yeah, it's all these people who what do they do online?

Well, so you're like, oh, they might YouTube videos.

OK, what are the YouTube videos.

They are so big though. Like it's like, it's endless.

It's like the Oscars at least everybody's kind of tied to the same project in that area.

It's just like you don't I don't think Internet people are Internet shit needs it like a whole world show like I do.

I think now we do online. Yeah. I think it's cool to revamp it. Yeah. I just need to step it up because it's not taken seriously. You could be cool though.

There is a podcast. This is our highlight.

Like what I think it is, is we feel uncomfortable with the idea, but I think people that watch us and support us are really excited about it and excited to vote for us. And, you know, if we're nominated, that's like a big deal, like your favorite creator.

And then seeing them win, I feel like is is cooler to, you know, the people that actually voted than us, because I feel like we're in like a weird situation where it's like we somehow feel I'm there.

Yeah, because I see the Grammys, I see the Golden Globes and I'm like, oh, wow, these people are actually fucking incredible. They're so talented. They deserve these awards.

But like, for some reason when I'm weird, like, I'm not weird. Yeah, yeah.

I think being humble is definitely much needed in this space. But at the same time, think about how much y'all do in a week and it may seem like nothing because you're just filming your lives. But when it comes down to coming up with ideas, editing, keeping to a strict posting schedule, constantly forcing yourself to be creative, you know, wants to be like that, and it's gone down a little bit.

It's hard to find everybody. But I'm talking about like maybe 2016, 2017, blogspot, whatever their pioneer day.

Yeah, they all run. Hey, you do. Seriously.

I mean, when you think about how much y'all were doing, you know, week, it's a lot. So I don't know. It's what you put out there.

Oh, you're like the pioneer days. We them on cigarette butt.

How are you doing. What are you hiding from me anyway. But I'm serious. Like I saw this thing on Twitter and I was like, damn, that's kind of true. Like, imagine trying to be creative 24/7.

Yeah, you can't. Yeah.

Oh, let's get deep really quick. Okay. Okay. I was thinking recently about like social media used to be my escape because I used to work before I was at the bank, I was at an insurance brokerage and I was fucking miserable program.

I was a licensed insurance agent. Look at me. Damn you did it. I was like, how do you help this, Rich?

It's not Jarrard from Safe Harbor, British Princess Diana T-shirt, a Bud Light sweatshirt. No, I literally was you know, I was in it.

I was in the trenches with corporate America and it was horrible.

I worked a kosher shop, which I just love the trenches of corporate America. I know it's it's a good life.

Thirty eight thousand dollars a year working 65 hour weeks answering phone calls from a pissed off middle aged white people about their home insurance policies. They call me and be like in Texas.

My washing machine flooded my whole first floor. And God damn it, everything's wet. Is this covered on my home insurance? And I would have to pull up the notes where I have verbatim him saying no one calls home insurance premium. I don't want that coverage. He's a dick. And I'd have to be like, sir, on this day, at this time, you decline this coverage and he'd be like, fuck you. I hope you die in a hole.

Click Oh my God. I did. For nine hours a day I would have practiced.

My voice is everything I did. You know, sometimes I would answer British.

So what got the best like results.

Oh, when I acted Southern back to him because I have a little bit of a southern twang, but I would beef it up. I'd say how y'all doing today? OK, let's do OK now. You got nowhere. You got you got to match their energy because if you come on like thank you for calling blah blah blah.

Like sorry we don't do that. They're like this stupid ass 20 something year old. I know what she's talking about. But if I'm like. And how are you doing today? Oh my God. Is that a puppy in the background? You tell me how to do it. And the whole experience is just better. Like people match my energy when I'm on a phone call. It's like a fucking phone call and it's just going to get done.

Just feels better to have, like, angry energy. Then if you match their energy, they get pissed off, but sometimes you have to when they put them in check. Absolutely. I'd say sure. If you're going to keep talking to me like that, I will in this phone call and you can call back and talk to somebody else. Very good. And you wait in that thirty minute long fucking wait line for forty five minutes. I'm looking at the TV right now and she's in the back about forty five minutes so we will put you on the bottom of the list.

Oh I used to do it too.

I literally this was before tick tock but I used to be like this to put you on a brief hold. I'm a look into that for you and I'll be on YouTube.

The journey a customer.

OK, I've always wondered when you're on the phone with, like a customer, can you hear them if you put them on mute like or like not mute, but like hold if I say, let me put you on a brief hold and I'm mute myself and they think that I put them on. You can hear them.

Yeah. Oh, I always wondered because I've been seeing shit and I'm like, I, I have a feeling they hear if you're hearing the hold music they can't hear you.

But if it's just I'm going to be holding it silent girl. They muted you and they can hear everything over me every time they put me.

I'm you. I'm like, I can't understand this bit. I cannot even with an eye on me because I still feel like they can hear. Did you customize your own, like, playlists for like you say, I'm the pigeon hole. I love it. If we right now I want the Verizon ring back like, you know, the whole thing didn't intend to do the fitness Graham taste test vote. No, really.

Sometimes it'd be like, fuck this company. They don't know shit about what they're talking about. Sometimes I'll be like, oh, it's connected to the wall. Big block, as though it'd be so good.

You know, it'd be funny if you picked up the call, like talking about something that they had just said. Like, I know it might not seem like we're doing much over here or anything, but like and then like you saying, like, you clearly heard saying something. So you heard me next week. I hope you look real pretty when you don't know what we're just talking about. Yeah, no, I it was t and sometimes we would do this, they would call in, they'd be like I got in a wreck and I'm like, well shit sorry.

I'd be like let me call you because we were a brokerage and if you let's have a quick little insurance.

Listen. Audience cheering Please. I'm trying to learn. Yeah.

OK, you make this an insurance brokerage is someone who works with a bunch of different insurance companies. So like progressive State Farm, you know, all state and they love and they find you. Yeah. And they find you the best price for literally the same policy. Just a different company. Yeah. That's where I worked. I worked at an agency, at a brokerage. So they would call us and say, you know, bouba happened. Or if they just have general questions about their policy, I can answer it.

Yes, this is covered. No, that's not. Here's what your monthly bill is. Yes, it's the credit card on file. And then if something actually happened, so if they got in a wreck, if they're oh, my God, my back, I'd be like, let's call it let's call progressive. So we would leave progressive and I'd be like, let's file the claim. I would merge. And myself and I would waste an hour just listening in.

Yes, oh, doing nothing, no company time. Why would you why? Why why do you listen to the phone calls just so I want.

Well, I wanted to tell you, first of all and second of all, we were because I'm nosy, I would say, you so know, your boss would come by you. Sometimes they talk shit about their agent. Like at my agency, they'd be like my agent wrote this fucking policy and he is so stupid he doesn't return my phone calls. This and progressive would be like, I know we don't like your agency.

And I'd be like, oh my God. So you come right back and you're like, I agree with you. My boss just admitted that, you know, that's true. So that was part of it. And they would tell us not to do that because they're like, you could be answering thirty other calls while you're on hold with this. And I could you know what else they would tap into our phone calls.

Oh, well, that's OK. I mean, you're work, you're doing something weird. It's micromanaging. It's an invasion of privacy. It's a lot to go through training and then trust them. Exactly. I said those calls are always recorded like they all recorded for quality insurance or whatever for training purposes. And I'm not kidding.

Like, when I was going through training, you said it is as an example, just like don't imagine them showing you your fucking audio training. Brodsky's distracted because it's you.

Is that what I've gotten a couple mentions on Twitter of like I work at the same company I used to work at. I see your fucking name that says Brittny Thomlinson, inactive. And because I got fired. Have you ever have you ever put, like you do an and you put them on or you put them on hold and you come back and you're like, let me let me transfer you to the supervisor.

Oh, which one she was doing? She's like Mrs. Doubtfire. I never get back with you. I'm doing my SNL audition on the show. I think of that you're like, can you just give us a call that you're like, oh, my gosh, that would be my customer.

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We heard that your mom is a Ghostbuster. Oh God. My mother is a sensitive ghost hunter.

What a sensitive oh goes on to say on this topic. Take it away. Same goes she got back back back back in the ghost blaster. Yeah.

OK she amedi frickin she's not a medium and I don't want this.

OK, you must have had some great bedtime stories and she thought that she made the boogeyman go away. I don't want this to come off as me making fun of my mother. Mother I love.

Oh we are not making of. I think it's incredible.

I believe about 60 percent of what she does. More than half. She absolutely is good odds. She is sensitive in the sense that sensitive to a sixth sense. To an alternate dimension. OK. Oh my gosh.

And she is serious about it.

She here we were. She's with us right now. We get the candles go out. She's not dead. So I kind of into it too. So I was going to get Cheetos. So she has always been kind of that way.

And it was about ten years ago that she really tapped into it. And she is part of the southeastern Texas Paranormal Research Team.

Hey, they got a chill, they got a girl, they got a Facebook page to go south, south, eastern, southeast. And she's in Houston, OK, they and she also has her own ghost hunting group called the Ghost Gal.

Oh, yes. They go out to those old oil goes the old oil barons. Yeah, I'm not kidding.

And they have T-shirts. I love my mom. She has shot her out.

Well, I don't know if she does have social media. I don't know her business. She's going to be taking calls all day long. You can you can go to Texas, go skells and she'll come up. That's her page. It's her and a few of her friends who are sensitive. And she I'll tell you a story. The first time that I was sure she loves, she has there's crazy stories that she can talk after.

Okay, OK, she so the first time that I was like, Mom, what the fuck? We were in New Orleans and it was a sister trip. It was me and my mom and my grandma, well, sisters, Texas sisters. And we went to New Orleans and we stayed in like the French Quarter and we went to the oldest restaurant in New Orleans, which is called to jokes, I believe.

How old is it true.

Civil war. OK, sorry, civil war era.

The bar is original, like during the Civil War, the soldiers would come in and they would run out of cups and like dishware because there were so many soldiers coming in and out. And they have this weird tradition of serving it in like a tea glass inside of like a it's something weird. And they served it to us that way. And so we're it's like 4:00 p.m. We've been walking around being tourists all day. And we sat down in this old original dining hall.

And it's black and white checkered floors and the original mirrors on the wall that are like, you know, that kind of dusty, I love a good old painted mirror. The things they've seen. Absolutely. Keep the cobwebs clean that shit. And so we're the only ones in this dining room and there's original paintings and portraits on the wall. And we're sitting there and we were ordering like shrimp and grits and all the Cajun, whatever you. And it's quiet and it's a circle table.

And my mom is sitting like this with her back towards the door and I'm opposite her.

And she goes, it's real quiet. She goes, there is a man over my left hand shoulder dressed in all black. And he's he's standing like this. He's holding something over his arm.

And I said, Mom, shut the quit, quit, quit.

She's like, no, I'm serious. I feel like a male presence. And he's very tall and it's very dark and he's holding there's like a towel over his arm. And I was like, OK. And so I'm like, Mom, shut up, whatever. So we're eating our grits. And about 40 minutes later, we're signing the bill and she brings the waitress over and she's like, is there you have like hauntings here? And the waitress is like, oh, yeah, no.

There's a waiter that haunts this room. Oh, she goes through later.

He was a tall black man. He haunted this room and he would yeah, he was like a traditional waiter with the thing she clocked in.

She presents and I'm like my like my joke and you're lying. And then the waitress is like, oh yeah, no. We get reports that all the time. Somebody they see him in the mirror and that faded glass.

Right, get them out of here. Oh, and they were like, yeah, and my mom always says to when there's a presence in the room, it's cold. So she's gone and goes investigations before.

I can't believe we're talking about this.

This is she's gonna go see the MP, the IMF, the IMF, that you need to make a video with all of events like dad. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

I'm sure your mom has told you this, but like, when she feels a president, how does she know his like like if she's just sitting there and shakes her sixth sense, it comes to her it literally she's she's gonna explain to me before that she sees it in her mind's eye what this man looked like.

And she's like, I can't see facial features, I can't see whatever. But I have physical descriptors of what he could.

And she didn't turn around. It was she didn't turn around. She close eyes. She said, there is I said, you better stop. She's like such a mouse with my breasts, please.

Just like I'll do another water. Oh, yeah. You guys didn't just see him. Don't you guys kept doing that to like like to keep brags about, you know, she's with her Girl Scouts. I'll do another. Who are you talking.

Oh you don't say you want to get it. That's just me, my powers.

I know there have been a couple other times where she's she feels it like she's gone to.

I got to be able to do it in the she in the my express yourself. She's toward haunted schools.

Oh my gosh.

Scared that she's done all of it because she's about to recruit largely to join a sensitivity.

Think, you know, I it's just a dream of. Oh, it's just like it really. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. She's told me before she was in this haunted school that they have reported activity.

Hey y'all, we've got a report about a ghost haunting. We're going to bring you some chicken wings. Oh, some butter and all. Oh, can't wait to see some activity. White. Yeah. School activity there in this old haunted elementary school from like the 40s, 50s.

And it's in Texas. All these places are in Texas, by the way.

And they're sitting there and it's a bunch of women, you know, her age, give or take. There's some men, too. They've got all their equipment set out in this old classroom. It's not that I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you. I'm serious.

But there it is. You have to laugh thing because it's like I'm imagining my fucking mother, the woman that birthed me being like, oh, my God.

Oh, they're pretty small. We're not making fun of, you know, it's like funny. We don't understand it. I love you. And it's I'm telling the stories that you've told me. So that's let's get that out of the way. So they're sitting in this elementary school and it's completely dark and they have the MF detectors, which in EMF detector, correct me if I'm wrong, Mother, but it's energy.

It's like energy. Yes. And they've got they use this thing.

It's like a flashlight that's a little unscrewed. So energies connect to that and communicate that way. So it's like something about electricity is what is it?

Electromagnetic frequency is like the actual thing or something like that. Yes.

So they try to utilize that. So they're sitting in this room. It's all them in a circle and everybody's got their eyes closed or whatever.

And my mom says something like, if you're here, I'd like to sit on my lap.

And she said that she felt something cold, drift over her lap and then leave.

There's no AC in this building. It was Texas summer at night.

It's probably about 85 degrees. She said she felt a cold draught come over her and then and then someone else to her left felt it as well.

And she was like, I don't know, sir, I know you are.

But there are little stories like that where I'm like, well, damn, she's not lying. I don't think she would lie to me. So I want to believe it.

But it's still like I totally she's just if there's a man in here touched the back of my head that she's getting off, your dad gets jealous, quit talking about my abroad, take off my clothes slowly.

Oh, no, my bra strap.

What's my middle name? I know, but it's very much.

And I've also been on her with other expeditions. She's gone on where she uses I don't know if you'll know what divining rods or.

Yeah. Like the ones that tread water.

Yes. That's originally what they were used for.

It's these metal. It's copper. They're made of copper. And they were used by farmers in the woods. Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen hundreds to find water. It's electromagnetic frequencies and energy. So when you cross over like an underground water stream, they'll cross. That's what they were used for. And people today use them to find. To get in touch with spirits, oh, so we're in this old haunted, I don't know what the fuck it was, but it's a Texas girl boutique now.

So it's the big, chunky Texas turquoise jewelry, turquoise stone, cross bags, all the stuff.

Florida has a lot of that. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Baby Kiwi's. My mom loves turquoise.

So it's that sort of establishment now. But it used to be, I think, a school yard or something. And people have reported things being taken off the walls and stacked up, like when they shut it, like they'll close the store and then come back the next morning. And chairs are different.

Oh my gosh, things are open that weren't open and teacups are stacked up and it's like something is happening.

No camera activity. Yeah. And so she went in and I went with her this time and I bought shit and piss in my Christian britches because we sat there and she was dipping.

She said, oh it's like she doesn't have no I'm like she, she's asking very pointed yes or no questions.

And I'm seeing her white knuckle these things shaped like this sorry.

It's shaped like this. So they're long. So you hold the short ends and then the you know, they cross. And so she's asking them yes or no question.

She's like, are you a girl?

And it would cross are you six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. So we're pinpointing the age of the girl, you know.

Did you used to live here? Oh, it was just like I live my mom. I trust her. And I don't think she would put on the theatrics like that. Right. And I saw it with my own eyes and I was like, oh, come the fuck on. It's like the lead board.

It's like The World Report freaked me out, like me and my cousins. We were like we were like ten years old and we were like, let's have a seance. And we weren't allowed to play with Ouija boards. My mom had a bad Ouija board experience.

Oh, yeah. You don't know shit about destroying Ouija boards if you destroy it. Wow. I've never heard of a sick way that you're supposed to destroy it.

You throw it away. Can you donate it to Goodwill. Oh, oh. Now no. It's made by Hasbro. Yeah.

So it's literally a toy.

It's made like, it's like is there a special veggie you get like anybody can make a Ouija board.

Well personally I must say I don't condone using we don't do it is I don't believe it does. I've never tried it and I never fucking will mind what my mom does. It's very light hearted. It's very you know, she connects with. All right, you go. I'm like that.

I love you, Britney. I love this I which is why I know it's so great if you and I are fighting every moment of it. No, there's no but no. I'm just like, what the what you're just describing this in your mom. I see it all. I'm just in my mind, I just have a very imagine my picture. Your mom just like the old man, you know, she but she's told me this before.

And if you haven't seen my YouTube video, I interviewed my mom and I have it's like a thirty minute video. Young girl watches my YouTube channel, but she is very particular about, you know, if it's a young child.

She was a school teacher. She's obviously very maternal towards me.

So she'll go talk to, you know, if it's like a lighthearted, haunting or a residual energy.

But if it's like we're hearing demonic scratches on the wall and shit like that, which happens, that's people report that I happen, he'll know. But it's it's that shit is reported and, you know, just like demonic energies in general of like things opening and slamming on their own and doors at night and like residual screams and wailings and shit like that, that's all real.

That happens.

But she won't do that if she's done it a few times.

And she she likes to have because she saw The Conjuring and she was I absolutely she said I don't want to do.

Yeah. Britney, I'm not working tonight. I'm off the clock.

Britney, you're going to have a fun daughter. I have grandmas get my mother. Don't you hear the scratches?

I'm not gonna kill myself, but I'm going to change kids since it's so scary stuff like kids looking in a corner, a dog like you talking to their friends.

And it's more than just an invisible friend like they there is somebody. Oh, it's real. It's real. It's so real.

It's just got religion. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh yes. I'm Catholic. I'm baptized. What's. T. But I think I'm going to get into Greek Orthodox Church tea or if I may. What does religious mean? I'm like so like, were you raised religious after religious right now? I was raised religious, but like I was raised religious and two different families. So now I'm just kind of like, I can't even imagine that for you.

That's so polar opposite sort of thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's somewhere in the middle or just kind of.

Yeah, definitely in the middle of the two religions. No, I just kind of like I kind of I'm just like as long as you're good to everybody, you're good, you're not.

I mean I'm an ex Christian. Oh. You're going to say, oh, it's very weird because I was raised, you know, the culture.

Southern Baptist, Christian. Yes.

We were just talking about the topic talks that people seem to like. And the Lord has failed me to die and to come to the party because. So what happened? But just make sure you bring your drop your donations in the call box outside.

Yeah. Yeah.

You're not going to put more you're not going to be more readily.

But, you know, here we've ever seen you, I would welcome a welcome. That was what I was raised in, you know, vacation, Bible school and all that. And I'm just not realizing. Hold the young adult.

What was that?

We know that something just crashed in the kitchen again. Oh, no. I thought it was throwaway. I heard Devin. I heard that. No, I know there's trash crumpling.

Yeah, y'all y'all.

This is always times like this, by the way.

No, I definitely heard that in the kitchen. You better stop.

No, it sounded like somebody threw like a chip bag. Yes. It sounded like concrete or anything.

Oh, sorry. You guys all right? Yeah, I know that spirit. Oh, spirit of shit like that is a great campaign idea. Hello. Available at your local 7-Eleven.

You feel the spirit of those where we've had we're to have happen while Rawle record store.

Yeah. It doesn't feel like you're going to get a firework.

Went onto the roof, went beyond and we thought we broke.

He thinks it's just like a that's here you know, you got to light some candles and some of it and the spirit is going to be just like, oh yeah. I mean I don't want to work for it.

Looks like you guys are trying to convince me. I really see everybody being able to see the world.

But now I'm getting excited about, hey, that's tech. Watch out. That's really hard.

Yeah, this is luggage. Well, we would love to fly your mom out. Oh, how fun would that be. What's her name part together.

Oh, I love Hathor. She's she's everything but yeah. That's that's really cool especially. Well, we can talk about this too, and I don't like to get serious, but being trying to be religious online, there's no room for it, I don't think, because it separates you from some people.

It does. And I've seen it happen on Tick-Tock. And the more that I learn about my own faith and unlearning, it is like it's so harmful.

And, you know, I'm embarrassed a lot of the time and I don't want to be associated. But at the same time, I spiral daily about what happens when I die. I don't fucking know.

I think about it all the time, man. I don't know. The Internet makes it so much worse because it's like, do we really do this for a job? So I'm just going to do this till I die. So I'm going to do it or die.

I think about that every fucking day. Like just what? Like what your future holds. Yeah, I like what you're telling me.

When I was working nine to five miserable, I knew what my life was going to be guaranteed. I'm going to retire at 55 and kill myself.

It's so uncertain and I think that really stresses me. But you all have been in this game for so long.

But every day we still I feel like I call him every other day. I'm just like, what are what are you doing? Really?

It's you'll never get used to it. There is no certainty ever.

But always kill yourself. But you're here. Yeah. You're living your life right now.

That's what makes this also beautiful, though. Yeah. The uncertainty. Yeah.

And how I know what it's like on the other side. Yeah. So I'm so grateful. Yep.

That this is what I get to do to pay my rent, which is really why I'm alive, which is really expensive, which is really fucking it helps a lot.

Like there's times where I'm down.

I just really think of like what I did before this, like I went to the airport and I'm just like, I know you did well and I know that what did you I feel like none of us really knew what roller.

Alison, you know, there's not one more job title, so maybe go to the gays and maybe not be fired, not be sent out to crash planes, out crash planes, if I did that.

No, I just like it's an airport. Like, I would hold signs like Dark People.

Oh, it was miserable, but it paid very well. I believe it.

I believe it was you. I was my last job was a manager at Brookstone.

I was selling myself, you know, just telling teenagers to get out of it after they've been the job.

Look, chill, though, like whenever I would walk, we'd do Vine's on his lunch break.

It was it was chill like it was cool. I think what fucked me up the most was the same six songs on Repeat the entire day.

Oh, they love Ellie Goulding.

If you had a bad day, I remember it would just come on constantly and I'd just be sitting there and be like on the pond turn wanted.

And I was just like, I'm just and why would we want to find a job?

We went straight to the mall.

Why did we all so much retail. I know, but it sucks. It seems like eternity. I know. I worked at Chucky cheeses.

No, you did not. Yeah, no, I was chunky. You didn't.

I feel was yes I was Chuck E. Cheese but I, I almost everybody also kind of took him on.

Like everybody who worked there became Chucky. They would tell you, go wake up Chucky. And that's when you knew you were the beast.

Yeah, the beast. Go wake the baby. I remember all the stories. I just like didn't I forgot that I worked at Chuck E. Cheese.

Yeah, I didn't know you were actually. I was shocked. Were you hourly how much you make an hour.

Oh, I think it was thirteen dollars.

He was tall. Two oh oh. Look like we want tall children but with Chucky is like a short person's wearing the costume. He's plump, he's a mouse.

But when I wore it it was like a rat like oh he lost all the cool.

We say happy sorry but you this crazy creeped me out thinking about the one right by this storage mall.

Oh shit.

There, right there. Oh my fucking God. That seems to work out Panda Express. OK, I was in California. We're talking about before this whole thing. This is like two years ago. We were there here. When I met you, I was working at Panda and the dance studio. Yeah. This is an old job back. I love what a dancer story.

Just like. Thank you. MAN one Chicken Little man. You go in the back of the house.

I paid for my rent. You got to do what you got to do to make ends meet. Yeah, but I got. That's so weird of an amusement park. Oh really. Yeah. Yeah. So I was a mascot and a dance teacher. Penny Wong. Bushcare and a nanny. No. Dorney Park. Yes.

Have you been the one in Virginia so far.

We were Mascha, Superman. Fantasia.

So Britney, didn't you piss yourself at an Olive Garden. OK, do you know that. So you did.

You did. What happened there was I literally peed in my pants. We were at an Olive Garden. We were in a booth, mistake number one. And yes, depending on how you look at it. But the booth collects in the back. I run down and where I'm sitting this. Heading this way and Ian is sitting facing me, and there's a child behind me and they keep popping up, they could do it your job like that.

And you've got so fed up with it after like three or four times this kid doing it, he did you run off of Olive Garden, one energy you got because he was gay. And I sat there and peed in my pants. Oh, honey, I just pissed. And I was like, yes, the waiter for the they said, Were you wearing blue jeans?

I think I was when I had to.

Do you know where you screwed up? But it was pretty. You don't know who did that.

Now, is this better or worse than the time where you peed on a couch at an Airbnb in Nashville?

So I'm going to Amy to see who you were talking to. And I don't let me in on three Airbnb couches.

Oh, my God. I people I love. It's a problem. Oh, here it is. It's an Airbnb, another airport. And I said, what you want all have gone in a split pea soup thinking about that one. You were waiting to say that while I was there, I looked over and, you know, I had to bring about back already. You have a lot in common up when you laugh. I pee when I'm fucked up.

Are you pissed, like on the floor when you're drunk on a couch at someone's party?

That's funny. It's funny, but it's humiliating. I wasn't. I wasn't I wasn't alive. I wasn't awake. I was asleep. Oh, so you piss in your pants sleep. Yeah. So I like I it doesn't get passed out. I didn't realize I pass on this house.

I didn't like purposely fall asleep but I fell asleep by this Random House party, woke up pissed all over the couch and all over my family hating the guy is just like yo hey dude you you pissed leave my whole embarrassing.

It was almost pretty much like that little a leather couch or. Oh, it was suede suede. I could smell it.

I could say I said I'll pay for his like you've done enough here already. And he's like don't worry. He sells it for more money on offer up. This country's pissed on by saying that they would buy it, they would buy it.

Just suck up the. Oh gosh. OK, so that is humiliating.

I know of you that very and by nature I said it before because I'm sure people saw it. So I was like, I need to say this before it comes out. Let me make a joke. I seen Hajazi pissed on the couch before.

Oh, we held a press conference on that unfiltered episode. It was I made sure it was out immediately.

Could you teach me how to burn? It has come from I can't burp at all. I mean, just more like whenever I feel like, hey, that's me too.

I can feel it coming up and then it totally disappears. I remember. But you're not an accident. Not on purpose.

I've never burned know. What the fuck was that? I'm Abramsky. Come here we go. No, I can, I can burp on command but the real burps come from my gut.

Huh. I can do like a I'm going like oh you do it on command.

You could suck in the air. You just got to like yeah. You got to like suck it in. You push it down. Yeah. But yeah. There you go. You can fake it D.J. fake gagging Got that stock.

Oh I love it. I love everything.

I love star. It's perfect. Oh so brilliant about it.

But it was all driven gravel.

Why don't you go to somebody where you like and sit down. Gwen All right. Coming out of her nose.

Check the seat, get a tarp over here. Oh, man. That is of my favorite. Whatever that shit comes up on my thumbnail, thumbnail, thumbnail. They still say so stop it.

Oh my God.

You guys are going to make use of rock and roll.

It stops. You stop. It's contagious.

I was once with a friend in an Uber and she you got to hold it down. This girl. Oh my friend. This girl was about to puke and she could it was like she couldn't go out the window. It was so fast where I was like, oh my God.

She puked all in my in my head. And then I sat there. The whole room was, oh my God, all four smelling it. So I held my nose.

I was like, oh, there's people that you're. Everything OK back there? No idea anywhere can I talk about the smell? He had to have known.

Maybe he did. But the thing is, we opened she opened the door and we got out and we looked were like, oh, clean. It was clean. She got it all in my head, all of my.

Yeah. And then the next Uber guy, they got him having a good time. Oh, God. Oh hell no.

No.

Me and my mom watched me and other guys. I mean have guy Kapela that sounds like a really like just it.

Oh it makes me pale. It makes me funny. And my friend Connor used to do it in high in college. We'd be like at the club and he'd do it.

But sometimes like you were doing that and you know, like when it comes up in your mouth, when I take a shower at the club, even we were just in the kitchen taking showers. Like sometimes you're just not in the mental headspace to take a shot and it just comes right back and it's so acidic and it is like, huh, you just got up.

Yeah, it's bad. It's horrible. And I'm going to fight it to swallow it down. Yeah. Oh acid. Stomach bowel. Yeah.

Yellow bright yellow. Bright lime green yellow. I vomited once a year. I vomit sometimes I vomit every time I drink.

Really I throw a lot of vomit paranoia.

I yeah.

I sit around for like hours being like I'm not going to do it, it's not going to like it makes me feel skinny.

I don't know somebody, somebody give me diarrhea. It's a mental thing. It is. I haven't thrown up.

I never seen her. I don't remember the last time I threw up.

But when you get really hungover, I don't get hangovers.

I don't really drink. She's against alcohol here.

You know, was we talk about it, we can talk about it. I was like, yes, some people are. I get it. I don't burp and I don't throw up. There must be something wrong.

You know what's weird is pigeonholing yourself into that shit online. What's pigeonholing like when you're known for thing? Yeah. Yeah. Getting stuck is like that's your shtick. And so, like, I was worried with the computer shit that that was what I was going to be known for forever. And it was going to be like Alex from Target and I'm fucking dead after that.

That's why I made sure there was one day in August where I gained like ninety six thousand followers and one day on Twitter and one day Twitter's hard Twitter is number one learned really because so many people were think about that time period.

The meme was everywhere were like two weeks. The entire timeline was just that shit. And I finally like I would go on to brands and be like, Hi, this is me. Do you want to tag me or delete the post?

They'd either block me or they delete my car.

Brands are blocking brands woodblock. Oh shit, that's crazy.

Some people would send me like, here's a gift card. I'm like, oh, I don't care. The thing is that tags will really help. It's the exposure. It's like it's someone posting about posting your shit. It doesn't matter.

Know who I was. That was the thing is people were like, oh, I became known as Carmouche girl, if I can. BuzzFeed wrote an article about Butch Girl, and I was like, well, they don't know who I am.

I got a good email chain that you can send to them any time a brand ever posts your content. Without them, you can like this great back and forth with them.

That puts them in this legal binding to where basically they have to pay you or they like really also can't remove it at the same time they have to do something to equal it.

Is it different with ticktock? Like anybody can use that? Because I was just featured in Cosmopolitan magazine YouTube with one of the oh in an article.

So talk is not your content. You signed an agreement for the terms and conditions. I'm signing the terms and conditions.

It literally was like we could put this in Times Square, your video and you don't get to sit.

Oh my goodness. But you're in Times Square and you're representing Tick-Tock. But you signed it.

We all did. Yeah, I signed our page. Yeah. Just if I didn't talk about where it is.

So on your job you have like those cute little draw crying that made me cry.

It's just the right right bottom. Since this jump so heated, I got so excited when like news stations or whatever, we play our vinyl we like we didn't care about money or they were just so excited that we just kind of it was on TV.

It was just on somebody just felt good that like our friends are like parents, friends saw that I was like the most respectable thing. Yeah.

Like at the time it just like feeling perfect. Let me see you. Good, Britney. OK, so Britney, we want to play a little game with you. Feeling excited.

Yeah, I feel like I've got a cue card. I feeling like Jimmy Fallon. Matt, take it away.

It's the five second rule game. You have five seconds. We are going to name three things that you have to answer. You have five seconds to answer. I have to name three of the things, three of the things that I will name. And we are starting now. Three things you can't live without.

WI fi phone water. Very Heather. Second, very good name.

Three famous people who've messaged you on Instagram.

Megan Trainor, you look like her, Freddie Dredd, thank you. Oh, all right, who's Freddie Gerard? Who's running the show? He's a tick tock musician, very famous.

Well, I'm sorry I said I'm disregarding the Dogecoin post.

Maloney and Haley Barbour follow me one a.m. and said I want to have a sleepover with Dogecoin and get fucking drunk and cool that. I could definitely put that outside groups.

Another one that's gone so far. Oh, she follows. You want to take TVM constantly, bitch. Hey, Besty. All right.

Name three famous Mat's Mat's doormat.

Oh, I like their name is Matt. Yeah.

Matt King.

Matt Laurie about Healey. The 1970s. I got a tattoo. She said Matthew what. The kid said it for real. Are you ready. Sorry. Maddie Healy cospar.

OK, ready. Three different ways of saying no.

Absolutely not. Fuck you. Never in a million years.

Wow. I would, I would not know how to answer that. I'd be like drawing. What do you mean. I would have been like no no no no thank you. This is the company. You mean I leave. I walk out of here.

What am I fucking chopped liver. I someone. Oh you have it. OK, ready. Three things a British person might say.

Thank you Babs. You want to talk.

What that. Good. Goodbye. Thanks. Oh thanks. Very good. Tor ex. Big ex.

Little ex. That means kisses. Oh ok. Oh yeah. I'm not big you know.

I mean like hey Britney. Name three things you can't resist. Oh Matty Healy.

Mm.

post-Millennial Jack Chromeo white men quick my dynamite. Three different ways of cooking a chicken roasted barbecue grilled.

Wow. I would, I wouldn't have gone but I did go to college three ways to cook a pizza. I would have gone. It had made three right now a big toasted cooked, baked, good cooked for three different three different ways to cook a pizza cooked.

Oh, shoot.

Bacon pizza fire roasted three foods that help you poop.

My eyes won't focus.

Coffee, celery, celery fiber. It's fiber that helps your gut. I've heard.

Oh celery juice. OK but is it ok. Listen ok I've never been to celery and needed to poop out.

Well no but notice celery. Sorry this is ok here you celery. Oh no. Sorry. You never been to the wild wings.

Shit that makes my gut bubble bubble good.

OK Britney.

Three foods you could have sex with for like ramen chicken wings and one of those for yourself because I almost like fuck. Oh you're like oh like she's taking hot noodles just so. All right, how about this.

I'll put you on hot Cheetos with a lime yum. Yes. Yeah. You put them on top. Oh that's that flavor. Oh that. OK, you know my Cheetos girl. I know. You know what I saw. I just thought they were flaming hot. No, they're playing hot with lime. Look that the line was higher. The line was higher.

It's called taste no lime wire right here on CROSSFIRE.

Yeah. Bear share, Ellen DeGeneres also used to be on CROSSFIRE. They used to put her whole standup set on post-World War II, remember downloading songs? They're them getting the real thing.

It's just like, oh oh oh oh. Guy singing in his basement low by people. I stop.

It's like the Amanda Bynes. Do you remember? Like, it's like blisters. It's the least 30 girls. I'm going to go. Three things you can take to feel good Brosius.

So if you're watching don't edibles a tequila shot and some Benadryl, you should sleep real quick. All right.

Three things you could get fired for being girl. Ha ha. Perry shitting on the job, on the job being you know, being a meme.

How about this. At my insurance job we were giving them all the time. Right this summer we were given an hour long break and I mean fifty nine minutes and fifty nine seconds. If you were a minute or two minutes late, you were brought into a room and talked about like a demerit on the dole.

You didn't give me a break on your card in the back from green to red comes off the goalscorers. All those like in elementary school. Oh you were too loud. It would turn red. That literally was my fucking insurance job. It was. Oh, my God. Hell on earth. Oh, my gosh. A nightmare. You're ready. I'm ready.

OK, make three animal sounds. Go it.

Oh. Oh, no, no. What was the first one? Now, the first one was a goat and I can't do it again.

And the goats were that was good.

Those dollars, if you let me do it again, I can do it you into it. But nobody can look at me.

Everybody has a look, a closer look away, you know, looks like little girls, like I'm going to sing, but I must sleep over every turn around because I want the same respect I don't like. You're looking at me sometimes. Go, go, go. Hey, I kiss my ass.

You're not going to let that drive you.

That was good. Thank you guys so much. I need to see how you did. Yeah, I want to see your face.

Oh, see, now it's not looking pretty. That's going to be the.

She's like, all right, I'm ready for my close up. Me?

Yeah. Is it being named three different cocktails?

Mai Tai, Long Island Iced Tea. Old one would love a good mule, although normally people say Sex on the beach.

The first time you say that he was like, do you drink? And I was like, I love alcohol. He sent me to the ice breaker. It is great love drink. No. All right.

I met a girl in Bumble and she, like it, kills all of our account. And I was just like, ding.

So I swipe right and we're going to drink tequila, tequila, check Mariah, OK, me with tequila, like you with God, both our problems.

You know, too much of something can be bad. I'll see you in hell then. I'll meet you there. What do we got. Text me when you get there.

Are you God. God goes. Yeah, I know you love me a lot. You're going to go.

But she said she said was Oh hey, take it easy guys.

Like Oh she's not going to like this. Will you love me.

Love my. Do you miss dancing in a studio. Yes. We got a studio in the room. No, no, no. I mean like like taking classes like with a bunch like other people around.

Did you ever dance the what is the studio called. The Unity and Diversity with the Millennium.

Millennium with Beest. What's his name. Willoughby's. Will the Beast dance for him?

Yeah, I'm going to think. Oh, I love Bill Davis. That's so OK. Sorry I remember I am auto fan. Would you would you ever want to teach like a bunch of kids at the same time.

Is that something you can do. You drive me.

She died just like you know.

Would you like what I like to talk about which everyone kids saying that's my job, I teach. That's not what you do right now, though. I work in a pandemic. The studios aren't.

Oh, you're going back to that after after all this is over. Yes. Why are you talking to me like I knew this?

I don't fucking know. You're waiting for so long and you ask me all the time you should teach them like I do.

No, I teach you. You have private lessons right now. But I didn't know that like you were going to go back to like God and I didn't know it was like one hundred kids. I thought it was like ten kids.

I didn't know you have like 200 plus kids in the studio. And then each class has like 20 to 50 kids that you teach at God. I didn't know is how many kids.

I thought it was like this episode is going to be titled, like learning the basics about each other. One fun fact, you do social network to Chucky Cheese. You know, she was a dance instructor, but we to know your real name there. I also forgot everything that people told me I like. That's great.

It goes in one ear out the tequila, but it's really bad. Figure it out. No, no, no, no. This is sober. So imagine when I'm drunk. Oh, oh.

So and certainly guys don't listen to what I'm saying or do.

Please don't take my advice. Do as I say, not as I do. I be entertained and moved the. But I have I have a heavy hitter here, ok.

Name three different ice cream chains, Yo, Ben and Jerry's Baskin Robbins, Blueberry Yenisei Coalson.

You didn't say brong you didn't say after hours, you didn't say song fucking delicious from what is Broms promises of Texas. Oh my God, I don't understand. Do you have Coldstone in Texas.

Yeah. Why didn't you check on them. Because COFO stressing me out would be say Moxham in their fucking. What do you mean.

It doesn't know when you say right because you never put a quarter in their tip jar and you never heard their music.

That's why I used to work at Baskin Robbins. Oh, you. And you threw all those.

For what reason? Because you didn't take call, son. I got upset and you threw that for I have an obsession with Coalson.

And because you love to see the marshmallows mixed in, girl, grow up. You're twenty seven. You don't know you don't know my gender. I don't know your story.

Did you ever go to Bahama Buck's and you loved my family. Loves you. Ever get those stamp cards. That's like oh your tenth one.

You get a free bottle, I'll be loyal to you. You never finish yet. Marshmallow and jungle Barry. Now you're disgusting.

And he was half and half. It was a good match. No, you know, they have apologized.

I'll fuck with the pickle juice. Pickle juice.

Have you know the bug shaved it. Shaved question for Bernie right here, honey. Yes, Martin. Have you had salt and straw out in Hollywood, California? Haven't they have cream flavors? Delicious. It's great.

But not the garlic, mustard and pretzels.

Whichever one you're like, you know, like or make up. I can see flavors. No, it's never what you're crazy. Do the.

But very impressive cheese. Ice cream.

It's interesting, Brittany, they they got big, they got baked beans. I don't know. It's just that brings us to our next add salt and sugar. Oh my God.

Do you want to break my. Here it is. I'm so glad you can make it out of the kitchen.

I want to trigger warning before each about the book about sex and the girls will be one of the highlight reels every time Britney burps up.

Three funniest things in my life. One is a burp take off vomit burp take. That is one of the funniest fucking things. Like a bird. So funny. Yeah.

Let's take a of Arctic. Yeah. Take like a vomit burp. Take so gag reflex.

It's just you get an idea.

I'll do a scoop of the Kool-Aid and come oh oh shut up. After. Oh.

Do you like Dykstra's ice cream after a real Britney show. We got to go.

We want to take you there tonight. Now shit. There was one thing I brought that you wanted me to bring you.

Have you got you got you got a gift for Britney. We brought it up. I don't have a gift.

We can make it seem like a gift because I brought this up the last few podcasts and we never put a picture of it. What are you thinking?

Oh, you brought it. I brought his water. My curse, water color. Oh, I know you're a big art history buff. Then I thought, oh, you did your research.

Well, no, I already I like art. History is the one subject I always wanted to take in high school or in college, but I took AP psychology and that satisfied my humanities course. So I wasn't able to take art history. But I've been getting into water.

I don't know if you're covering it, you're covering it up. You know, like I say, some cottage that it's a little college. It's really cute.

You're gonna have to change the focus on it to get any paint everybody's house and give them a little gift. Oh, my. Oh, that would actually be really cool.

You should make it big enough where we can hang it up so good. Oh my God. I got to go to the bathroom.

You can go. Just say goodbye. Say goodbye. Say goodbye. On that note. On that note.

Because you love Peagram that's going to push her over the years. She got that peacock you to.

Oh my God, Britney, did you make on the couch. Did you do.

Because you know who I'm talking about are so disgusted with me. All right?

I'm I'm I'm I'm a so he goes like this, he takes the fucking protector off. Oh, my God. You guys. All right. All right. That's it for the episode today. Thank you guys so much for watching. As always. If you guys haven't had our coffee yet, we are fully restocked right now. We have everything. We have everything available right now to promote a dotcom, to try it out. Come on, we need your face to show other people.

Where's the T-shirt? This is the this surgery.

Guys, you can check out the audio, everything on Monday on Apple podcast, Spotify, whatever in the video, every single Tuesday on our YouTube channel.

We also have the highlight channel that is out right now. So make sure to check that out as well.

Unfiltered highlights we post on there every day and everybody say, thank you, Britney.

We love you. So this was the best episode with over seven hours of footage.

You're about to say seven out of ten great, great podcasts experience. This was so much. This is one of my favorite episodes.

This is a phenomenal. Yeah, I'll throw up and cry. I look pissed a little bit on my pants. I'm not going to lie. All right, let's go. All right. I just got Clorox. For what? We're going to need some bleach.