The Internet is a creative beast that is relentless, mocking and to be honest, sometimes hilarious, and it can make you famous whether you asked for it or not. Just ask anyone who has become a meme kombucha girl. The distracted boyfriend, grumpy cat, all. The thing is, those people made some funny faces and ultimately won along with the joke.

But one, quote unquote, Florida man became a trend. It encompassed a lot of different people, all criminals and all for the wrong reasons. It highlights the sheer amount of ridiculous news about dumb crimes, where the headline always begins with Florida man and where there's crime, there's a countdown. So today we've got the top 10 Florida man crimes.

So get ready to laugh before realizing, oh, my God, this really happened. Hailu Weirdo's, welcome to Crime Countdown, a Spotify original from podcast, I'm Ash and Emelina.

Every week will highlight 10 fascinating stories of history's most engaging and unsettling crimes, all picked by the podcast Research Gods.

This episode, we are counting down the top 10 Florida man crimes.

I have to ask you, what do you think of when you think of Florida feel like for this one, I'm going to choose to plead the Fifth Circuit inside you out of here under Florida.

You know, we all love you. Yeah. Who doesn't love Florida?

I mean, you have Disney World, you have palm trees, but you also have some serious shenanigans.

And, you know, I think you know that now. You know that Florida, you must you know it well. I remember when Florida man actually became a thing because I was in high school and we were just like crack up over the different cases, a Florida man and like, type in our birthday and be like, what's your Florida man doing? I love that so much.

That was one of those, like social media trends I came about and I usually hate social media trends, but the Florida man one is something that I think can unite us all.

It's like the great unifier it is. But to be honest, we could probably pick any state from the entire nation and there would be a ton of dumb criminal.

Yes, but Florida Florida's just more creative about it.

I do feel the same like coasting to True Crime podcast made me realize that stupid criminals are like everywhere.

But Florida has a way of just getting jiggy with it. Yeah, just ask Will Smith.

You know, I just might you should do it. Well, guys, Ilina has five Florida men and so do I. Not exactly how that sounds. Oh, we don't actually have five. We do not. We have five crazy things they did, but neither of us knows what kind of cuckoo is coming next.

Let's start the countdown. This episode is brought to you by the map of tiny, perfect things, a love story with a fantastical twist. Follow mark played by American Horror Stories, Kyle Allen and Margaret, played by Big Little Lies, Catherine Newton or both stuck in a time loop and must decide how and if to escape their endless day stream the map of tiny, perfect things. February 12th only on Amazon Prime Video. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime video, what if you thought you killed someone but couldn't remember?

Emma isn't sure what role she played in the disappearance of a missing girl. That girl's mother is determined to find Emma and the truth. Watch the Amazon original series. Tell me your secrets are available now on Amazon Prime video. Netflix presents the first season of its new documentary series, Crime Scene The Vanishing The Cecil Hotel from untimely deaths to housing serial killers serial killers. The Cecil is known to many as LA's deadliest hotel college student. Elisa Lam's disappearance is the latest chapter in the hotel's complex history.

But will it be the last crime scene? The vanishing at the Cecil Hotel now streaming only on Netflix. Ten, I'll start us off with number 10, the fake heart attack thieves target Scott and Genard Dupree. In December 2014, this whole county dynamic duo used a fake heart attack in a Wal-Mart as a distraction so they could push a cart full of toys out of the door unnoticed. The security footage of this is pure comedy. Oh, man, I love that they were thespians.

I know it. I also want to see the security footage really use that high school theater kid experience. Right. So they enter like Will's Wal-Mart. They fill a cart with almost 400 dollars of merch, including a motorized Barbie power wheel, like a big ticket item for Christmas. Maybe I would assume I always wanted one of those when I was little. I know those things are wicked. They were awesome. So then Scott moves toward the exit with the cart and Dupree drops to the floor in slo mo and clutches his chest.

And Scott just walks right out the door as this is happening.

Not worried about neglecting that. Totally fine. So the quote unquote heart attack lasted forty four seconds. Wow.

OK, great commitment. And then Dupree just gets up and walks out to the car like nothing ever happened. And the best part of this all is that not one employee ever came over to check on him, like, OK, Wal Mart. All right. So of course, they were arrested shortly after and both already had criminal records when this happened. So that was not good for them.

No debris was on felony probation for theft. And Scott had been released from prison in 2013 after serving about a decade for armed robbery. Sticky fingers, McGoo, over here.

These are serious criminals and this is what they did. Wow. They were charged with grand theft in this case, though. Wow. That's a lot to unpack already. Theater kids, am I right?

Nine. At number nine is Joseph Ramos, the man who in 2013 was arrested for being inside a stolen car while simultaneously having stolen property inside of him once. Yes. What does that mean? Oh, I would tell you, in December 2013, Ramos was just 21 when he was pulled over for reckless driving in a stolen car. Yes. Already we're not off to a great start. Right. They take him to Pinellas County lockup and they start the whole processing thing.

This includes a full body X-ray. Oh, yeah. Now the x rays for contraband detection. They want to spot metal pills, plastics, drugs and any unusually shaped items that may be concealed on the inmates person.

Yeah, for sure. Of course. Well, Ramos's scan was a little different, OK? It revealed a dark mass in his stomach area. Well, this turned out to be stolen jewelry from a previous burglary. He admitted to swallowing two necklaces. So the necklaces were inside of his stomach, followed by try to picture swallowing a necklace.

I can barely swallow an Advil. I can't. So go like why you should it.

That's bad. No, it's not.

So Ramos was transported to a local hospital.

Obviously, he underwent surgery to remove the jewelry from his stomach. Was there like that's not going to feel good coming out? Oh, my gosh, no, not at all. Let's take that out.

And the victim of the burglary later identified the jewelry. So I think their next move should be to get a whole lot of chloro.

I would say. So it what that bad. Wow.

Eight. Number eight on our countdown, a Florida man crimes St. Petersburg father of the year nominee Joseph McIntosh. Good old Joe decided to take his 11 year old son to work one day in May of twenty nineteen. There was just one issue. Joe was a thief and took his son with him to burglarize a home. Wow.

So not your typical bring your son to work day magic being the kid and telling your friends I got to go to work with my dad and let me just tell you what my dad does.

We're going to break into a McMansion. It's going to be fun. Is going to be great. Well, thirty two year old Joseph McIntosh also had a twenty three year old accomplice with him when they burglarized a residence in St. Petersburg and they didn't get very far. The police arrived to find Joe on the front porch, hands and backpack full of things he had literally just taken from that gun. Also on hand was Joe's 11 year old son, who was forced to be there by his dad.

That's the worst parenting ever. It definitely is. And he picked up a nice felony child abuse charge in addition to his felony burglary charge in a methamphetamine possession. Good. He needs to get the child abuse charge. Absolutely. There was a lot going on there, too. There is the kicker at the time, Joe is free on a thirty three hundred dollar bond in connection with a drug bust for possession of meth, Xanax and paraphernalia. All right.

He's really telling it. He really is. He had just been released three days before he was caught for this crime. See you later, Joe. He's got a busy schedule. And this guy, Chief.

Seven. At number seven this week, we have a legit celebrity Florida man, NFL quarterback Cam Newton, on the New England Patriots right now who knew in November 2008 before Kim's father caused problems with the pay for play scandal, which almost cost his son the Heisman Trophy. By the way, Cam got himself charged for stealing a laptop. He stole himself, Adell, and tried to get rid of it. But he wouldn't be on this list if there was an eye rolling moves ahead, rolling in the deep, you would say.

Indeed, Adele, Adele. That's why I said, all right, that works. So Cam Newton is in college at the time at the University of Florida.

He decided to take off with a laptop that wasn't his. It actually belonged to another student, typically a bad player, not a good idea. Investigators got permission to search Cam's room. When they do this, they overhear him on the phone talking about how to get rid of it. Wow. Talk about good timing. Not awesome for Cam. And Cam had tossed it out of his dorm window. That's one way, which is a weird plan. Yeah.

What are you going to do with it now? So the cops cuffed Cam, they put him in the patrol car and then Cam's accomplice starts blowing up his phone, which the cops now have. Oh, no. Yeah. So the text messages are about how Cam's friend found the laptop and he hid it behind a dumpster at another school. Wow. Thank you for writing about your crimes in real time. They're watching like, oh, it's here.

Now, let's look at it. Let's actually go to lunch really quick, because all of this is already done for no good. We can all take a coffee break. So he was foiled, unfortunately, and Cam Newton was charged with grand theft, burglary and obstructing justice. The laptop was recovered and he was placed into a pretrial intervention program that ended with all charges being dropped. I was wondering how he was on the Patriots if he had like a burglary charge.

Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter because not.

Six. Also on our list at number six, 20 year old Milton J. Hodges, who, while running from his attempted robbery back in 2012, scaled a wall into a nudist colony and steals a golf cart while he's on it. This is pretty amazing. So Hodges initially tried to rob Lowe's store in Kissimmee, Florida, by holding a pair of scissors to the neck of one of the cashiers. That's actually terrified. I was going to say like that sounded funny when I was reading it and when I said it out loud and I was like, no, that's scary.

It's funny. Up until that point, then you're like, oh, yeah, not funny. Luckily, the cashier was able to break free and went to go get help, but then he just started demanding money from another cashier. Jeez, he was chased away by witnesses and employees to let go Florida.

Yeah. And on his improvised escape route, he just hopped a wall and landed himself in the Cypress Cove nudist resort. Oh, wow. Of all places to land. That's a gift from the universe right there. I know. So he's still making it up as he goes. He commandeered a golf cart before getting caught and arrested. Wow. Milton J. Hodges was charged with attempted armed robbery, attempted battery and burglary. So this improv classes did not pay off?

Guess not. I would also say like obstruction of like a nudist colony. They got a charge breaking the rules. Right.

This list so far is incredible, the fact that we have a nudist colony on here, I mean, it's already great. That was my favorite one so far in swallowing the jewelry.

Yeah, that was nuts. Florida, what's going on in Florida? Florida.

What's going on down there? I also can't wait to watch the footage of the fake heart attack and. Oh, I can't wait. I'm going to do that as soon as we're finished here.

Hi, it's Vanessa from Podcast Network, and I'm thrilled to tell you that this month marks a huge milestone for us.

It's the four year anniversary of a podcast I hosted called Serial Killers. If you haven't had a chance to dive into the stories and psychology behind the most nightmarish murderers of all time, why wait? There's no better time than right now to start listening.

Each week we enter the minds, the methods and the madness of the world's most sadistic serial killers from the Son of Sam, David Berkowitz, and the coed killer, Edmund Kemper to Aileen Wuornos. Ed and coming soon, the Night Stalker, Richard Ramirez and this February lookout for our four part special on couples who kill following the worst to love has to offer their names may sound ordinary, but their atrocities are anything but.

You do not want to miss it. With hundreds of episodes available to binge and new ones released weekly, get to know the killer's crimes and cases that forever changed the face of history. Follow the Spotify original from past serial killers. New episodes air every Monday and Thursday, free on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime video. What if you thought you killed someone but you just couldn't remember in the new Amazon original series? Tell me your secrets, Emma. The girlfriend of a serial killer is trying to figure out what role she played in the disappearance of a missing girl. If you're the girlfriend of a serial killer. Chances are you probably had something to do with it, right? The missing girl's mother is obsessed with tracking down Emma and finding out the truth.

This psychological thriller is full of twists and turns, and you're constantly questioning whether a character is the victim or the villain. It's so highly addictive and binge worthy that as soon as you finish one episode, you need to see the next. From the executive producer of The Undoing and Big Little Lies comes the Amazon original series Tell Me Your Secrets, available now on Amazon Prime video. Five. All right, let's jump back in with number five on our countdown.

A Florida man crimes starting off the second half of our list, 19 year old wannabe robber Justin McGilvray. Bless his heart. Back in 2008, Justin attempted to hold up to Daytona Beach convenience stores by just pointing his finger as his weapon. No, he tammet it. Shockingly or not, it's Florida. He got away with some cash and beer at the second holdup. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Have you ever seen Tammy with Melissa? I think she does that.

That's amazing.

February 24th, 2008, around eight p.m., Justin McGilvray walks into a Daytona Beach Circle K, he makes a fist, aggressively points his finger and starts making demands. Wow. Literally like pupu. I will get you. I'm going to get you.

The employee quickly realized his finger is not a deadly weapon and chase Justin right out of there, so did not work. See you later. Goodbye. Well, Justin was not one to be deterred. All right. This was not the end of his night. So 30 minutes later, Justin goes and gets himself a sidekick because he's like, it's not working. Just like, I guess we need more than two finger guns.

We need heavily armed people with like four. I need at least eight fingers crossed to do this.

So he goes and gets. Twenty six year old William Graves, Justin and William head to a 7-Eleven. All right. They pretend to have weapons, no word exactly whose fingers were actually involved, but they were both wearing red bandanas this time. So there's an appearance of threat because hiddenness, OK, they were like, this will get them.

Oh, they did have some success. Crazy enough. Justin and William made off with forty one dollars in cash, some cigarettes and a twelve pack of beer.

So a whole night worth of fun, a whole night worth of fun. Both were obviously charged with robbery. Did not work.

Not with a deadly weapon. No, not with the deadly weapon. Justin McGilvray was also charged with attempted robbery for his original finger pointing.

You know what they say, don't point a finger. There's three pointing back right at.

Yeah, that's a good one. For when they get number four this week is the lead guitarist for the band Cannibal Corpse, Pat O'Brien, December of twenty eighteen, Pat was clearly going through a meltdown when police arrested him for breaking into a neighbor's house, assaulting officers and finding a weapons stash in his burning home. So let's unpack the events of that night. Let's do it. All right.

So since nineteen ninety seven, Pat O'Brien has played guitar with the death metal band Cannibal Corpse and O'Brien.

I feel like I have to say Cannibal Corpse, like, so hardcore.

But he seemed to have lost it a little when he warned his relatives of the rapture and that, quote, aliens have landed.

Oh, so then one night in December, twenty eighteen, this all escalated and he randomly broke into a neighbor's home and just shove somebody that was there. All right.

So the police arrive and he runs into the backyard and hides. And then he charged at a deputy with a knife and got the old Taser before being arrested. The good old Taser will have a good old Taser.

Oh, but wait, there's more. Of course there is. The police realized that Pat's house is on fire.

Oops. And they're like, what? That's a problem.

Oh, we have a lot more to unpack here. According to Rolling Stone, firefighters reportedly struggled to contain the blaze because there were, quote, military style flame throwers in his home.

Well, how else are you going to face the rapture? I guess I don't know. He was prepared.

I seem incredulous. I don't understand. The firefighters also found an arsenal, 50 shotguns. One was illegally sawed off, 10 semiautomatic rifles like AK 47 to Uzi style firearms and 20 handguns were in this arsenal. Seems fine. Nothing to worry about here.

Yeah, I'm like, wow, that's like huge. Where'd you keep it? I don't know what you got to walk in closet. I guess so. Lots of shelving in your home.

His band mates that after that he was getting the help he needed.

But if you're going to break, break big, I guess go big or go home, but you can't go home because it's on fire or.

Sit up straight, Broward County. It's your turn. Number three on our countdown, a Florida man crimes is actually a woman. Her name Shinoda Wilson. OK, Shinada landed herself in jail when she pulled a knife on another customer at a Dollar General store who was mad at Ginetta for passing gas while in the checkout line.

Classy woman minus the classy. Maybe add some gas. You have a recipe for disaster at the Dollar General. No good. So 37 year old Shinada Wilson was in the Dollar General and Dania Beach, just south of Fort Lauderdale.

OK, she decides she's comfortable now. She's in her Zen mode. She feels real comfy with everyone. She feels at home. It's like you said, she's in her 30s. She doesn't care exactly when you're in your 30s. You're like, I don't care if she felt it. And you just too. I think this was her moment. She walked into the Dollar General and she was like, this is where I belong.

So she felt really comfortable enough with herself to just let her body's natural tendencies go in public. A man who was also shopping in the store to find her music and he made a negative comment to her about her behavior. But her behavior about that behavior, the fact that she cheated on him, he was like, you're feeling too comfortable. Well, not one to be criticized. The Shinada, she pulled a small knife from her purse and told the victim she was going to gut.

OK, that is an overreaction. It's like it's just someone telling you not to do it in public. You don't need to gut it. Wow. Now, allegedly, Shinada pulled her arm back as if preparing to attack, which is probably the damning move that earned her that little felony.

Oh, not one of those. She was arrested on a felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. She literally said gut him, but like, OK, I think maybe she had just watched, like, scream the night before, like, I'm going to gut you. But like, no, she didn't intend to kill her. No, not at all. No, it's fine. I just wanted to see your insides, that's all.

Shinada is not new to the crime game. I don't know if she's new to the flatulence and public game, but she's not new to the crowd.

It sounds like she's not new to the crowd. I don't think she was real comfortable. Like a seasoned, seasoned veteran, her rap sheet includes convictions for battery, theft, marijuana possession, violating probation and possession of cocaine with intent to sell. Wow. All right. Another Schnatter.

Wow, you really got me with that last one. Yeah, Shinada man, who's number one. I know. I know. I was going to say you're asking, but, you know, and it's not Shinada. It's not. We should have everybody, like, sticking around because who is it? I don't know. But you do. Let's find out.

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Netflix presents the first season of its new documentary series, Crime Scene The Vanishing The Cecil Hotel From Untimely Deaths to Housing Serial Killers Serial Killers. The sequel is known to many as LA's deadliest hotel college student. Elisa Lam's disappearance is the latest chapter in the hotel's complex history. But will it be the last crime scene? The vanishing at the Cecil Hotel now streaming only on Netflix. To. We're down to the final two spots on our countdown. A Florida man crimes at number two is castration wizard Gary Van Rice.

Like in August of 2000 19, a man called up 74 year old Gary, who he found on the Internet because he wanted to be castrated. Gary had a fetish for castration, but Gary was not a medical professional. No. So I know you can predict how this went down. But you know what? Let's indulge in the insanity. Yes. So the police respond to a 911 one hang up call at Gary's house in Sebring, Florida. Now, Gary greets the police right away and admits that he just performed a castration on a man in this home that he owns.

I love that. It's like Greece. He's like, hello, officers. Yes, I did just that. He's like, Hello, can I get you some tea?

I have some ice water in the fridge. Also, castration gone wrong in the other room held to your left.

So the patient was in his guest room holding a bloody towel to his growing region by his testicles, were in a jar on a table next to the bed.

Hmm. Yup. Gary had a makeshift surgical room with medical tools and he used painkillers that he brought from England to it like, I guess, sedate the other guy.

So that was nice. I none this is OK. The patient was quickly flown to a Tampa hospital for immediate medical attention, and Gary told police he met the patient through the Dark Web website for one of those interested in the unique lifestyle of one of those. OK, just that the dark web, that's the scariest thing ever.

The Dark Web is what it is, dark. So if you don't know what a unicorn is, Unix are men who have chosen to remove their testicles for lifestyle purposes, and that's way too deep of a topic to dive in. Right now. I'm giving you I'm not ready to take the plunge into that one yet. Yeah, no, me either.

And also, Gary had no medical training, just a castration fetish, and he removed his own right testicle in 2012. Well, not a lot of surgeons can even say they performed surgery on themselves. Seriously. I mean, he did have some practice. Hey, Gary. Well, he was arrested for practicing medicine without a license resulting in bodily injury.

A felony. Jerry gone for a little bit hadit.

And that brings us to number one on our countdown of the top 10 Florida man crimes, the best friend a criminal can ask for, Patrick Rumpy December 2015, 24 year old Patrick was high on bath salts when he tried to break into jail by ramming his truck into the building in order to visit his friends. Still such a good friend to see a friend. We all need to. Patrick lives will stop at nothing for friendship. Can't stop, won't stop.

So Patrick Rumpy decided he needed to see his friends who were locked up in the Indian River County jail in Vero Beach. Sometimes you just need a friend. Sometimes you just like I just got to see my buddies. I just got to see. Surveillance video shows Patrick's 2002 Toyota smash into the glass doors of one of the jail's buildings like Goche. Glass shatters everywhere, but the car doesn't come into the building. OK, but his car does start to smoke.

I believe that because he smashed it into a building. So Patrick decides to turn to plan B, which so glad he had a plan B. I know he had two plans for this.

That's great. He wouldn't be on this countdown without his plan B. Oh, so plan B was driving at a high rate of speed into the security fence outside another jail building.

Again, he didn't break through, though. Wow. But Patrick's not a quitter, OK? Right.

A lot of things. He's a great friend.

He seems like he's maybe emotional because he was just missing his body, but not a quitter. Might be codependent little bit, but he is not a quitter. No, he gets out and climbs the fence, but he hits a literal snag. He got entangled in the razor wire lining the top of the fence.

Oh, no. Wow.

Now, after he's been rescued by emergency workers, he spits on one of the deputies. Not good. No, that's rude. Real gross subducted. He was then sent to a medical center for injuries. OK, Patrick later admitted to police he was high on the drug Flocke, which is similar to bath salts and it can cause severe hallucinations and paranoia.

I've never even heard of that. And it makes sense.

I guess there's now potential charges included aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, battery on a law enforcement officer, three counts of felony criminal mischief, leaving the scene of a crash with property damage and driving under the influence.

Oh, Patrick. But you know what?

Not OK, because now he can hang out with his friends. He can jail. Look at that.

You know what, yeah, I think Patrick was right there with Shinada. Yeah, I love the both of them. They should meet each other. They really should. The one with the finger guns.

I love that. Oh, the finger guns was incredible. I mean, the toot's really got me, though. Another one. You always get the toutes. Isn't it weird that half the crimes on this list took place in December? That is weird. Something about the holiday season gets people crazy. Just gets people.

Why it's so great. That is weird. I honestly can't think of any honorable mentions or anything we left off because there's so many. We could have a series of these for like three years.

And I was just going to say I would love to do that. Yeah. Florida man part two. I love it. I'm ready.

I think we got to do it ready and willing to do it. Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with another great episode. Remember to follow Crime Countdown on Spotify to get a brand new episode delivered. Every week you can find all episodes of Crime Countdown and all other podcast shows for free on Spotify. Spotify has all your favorite music and podcasts all in one place. They're making it easier to listen to whatever you want to hear for free on your phone, computer or smart speaker.

And if you can't get enough of these creepy crimes, check out our After Crime Countdown podcast playlist on Spotify, where we've handpicked even more episodes about this week's stories that we think you'll enjoy. And if you like the show follow app podcast on Facebook and Instagram and app podcast network on Twitter.

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Keep it weird until next Monday.

But like not this weird guys. Don't keep it Florida weird. I never. Crime Countdown is a Spotify original from podcast. It is executive produced by Max Cuddler Sound Design by Kristen Acevedo with Associates. Sound Design by Kevin MacAlpine produced by Jon Cohen, an associate produced by Jonathan Rateliff. Fact Checking by Cara McAloon, research by Ambika Chautara JQ and Mikki Taylor. Crime Countdown Stars Ashkali and Lena aka.

Hi, listeners, it's Vanessa again. Before you go, don't forget to check out the Spotify original from podcast Serial Killers each week. Join me and my co-host Gregg for a deep dive into the minds and madness of history's most notorious murderers. You can binge hundreds of episodes, four years worth and catch new episodes every Monday and Thursday. Listen to serial killers free on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.