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Hi, I'm Goldie Hahn, and I feel really excited about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Fall is here.

Hear the yell back to school ring.

The bell bend the shoes walk and lose climb the fence books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends we are gonna be friends hello, there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. And joined, as always, by my steadfast crew. That's c r u e with a little umla. Like, motley crew. Exactly. Sonam obsession. Hey, Sona.

Hi. How. Hello.

Oh, God. Can't even do that.

I was gonna say, how you doing? And then I just was like, why are you asking questions?

Just say, hi, Matt Gorley. How are you? You're like someone in a bad old sketch who's nervous.

I changed my course mid sentence, so I just had to stop.

Well, you're always you, and that's the important thing.

That's good.

I do have something of importance to discuss. Sorry, we don't have time. We got to get to our guest. All right, let's get into it. Our first guest today committed a series of robberies in the late fifties. Oh, no, that's someone else. I do have something important to talk about today, which is this show that I've been working on for a while that I'm proud of is coming out in a couple of days. Conan O'Brien must go and is going to come out this Thursday, April 18, on Max. And one of the reasons I'm mentioning it on the podcast, other than just for corporate synergy. Synergy. Synergy. No, I'm mentioning on the podcast because this show is very much a. An outgrowth, if you will. That sounds a little gross. An outgrowth that sounds medical. Like a carbuncle. It's a cyst. A goiter.

Yeah. It's a dermoid. It needs to be.

It's a skin tag. A boil. It needs to be lanced. This Mac show is a pustulating boil. A car bottle that needs to be drained. No, I'm very happy with it because, as our listeners know, we do talk to a lot of celebrities and cool people in the business and authors and such. But we also talk to people around the world, people in the US and all across the globe, and this idea formed to maybe go visit some of those people. The idea sprung out from one or two guests saying, well, if you're ever in my strange, out of the way country, stop by. And so I did, and I surprised people and get involved in their lives. And also, it's an excuse to travel. And I've always loved doing travel remotes. And Max liked the idea, and we made them, and there are four of them, and they're very silly. You will not learn much about them. They're really funny, but I love them. And they start. So what's nice is you guys are going to be on Max, too, because we have these nice moments where we're in the studio, you see us, and then suddenly I appear in that country, and then, of course, you don't come along, because that would be an added expense.

You could have added something.

I think it was weird that. Not that we couldn't go along, but that you sequestered us in a best western for the period that you were there. The weirdest thing is that I brought you to the country, but made sure that you stayed in a best western in that country. An airport hotel. Yeah. Very hard to find a best western in Bergen, Norway. But I did it. But anyway, these shows are. I think they're a lot of fun, if you like my brand of nonsense, and that's why I mention it here on this podcast, is that it's a nice offshoot of this silliness. So Conan O'Brien must go this Thursday, April 18. All the episodes drop at once, which is, I guess, how they do it now in this business.

That's how it is. I like that, though. Cause then we could just, you know.

Binge on April 18.

You could do 4 hours of Conan.

Yeah, no, that's not medically advised. No, you'll get a carbuncle. People should do. I'm told more than seven minutes of Conan in a shot is way too much. Sorry. Isn't that also your birthday? Yeah. Yeah, it is. Edward. No. And you know what? That's a complete coincidence, because Max just assigned the date, and it just came through corporate. Yeah, you're gonna. It's because I knew it would be sometime in April, and they just said, it's April 18. It has nothing to do with my birthday. So I'm guessing Jesus did that.

You could have lied.

What's that?

You could have just made something up. You could have said it was because it was your birthday.

No, I'm a truth teller, okay. And I have an amazing body. You're a truth teller? How old are you turning? I'm 77. Okay. We have to get into today's show. But anyway, I hope if you get a chance, take a look at the program. I think you'll enjoy it. If not, enjoy your lives. Hey, this is goodbye. My guest today very. This is exciting. My guest today is an Academy Award winning actress and Hollywood icon. Not often do we get a Hollywood icon, you know, from such movies as overboard, the first wives club, and cactus flower. Just. I mean, that's just to just scratch the surface. Hugely influential and just thrilled that she's here today. Goldie Han, welcome. I'm going to tell you something. I have been such a huge fan of yours for so long. All these years, I did the late night show. You were one of the few people I don't think you were on the show. It never lined up exactly. So I never got to meet you that way. And then when I came out to Los Angeles later in my career and I saw you, I was a little freaked out in a nice way.

And your security team told me to stay away. They had read the letters. But I think I saw you and Kurt at something. And I know it's not just me, because I would want to say about two years ago, because we live in the same neighborhood, I'm running. I'm jogging. Because you don't just get a body like mine.

I was going to say, that means you can still see your belly button.

No, I haven't seen that thing in years. I'm not sure I even have one. But I'm running and I'm running with a friend of mine who's out here, and he. He runs with tons of people. He's met everybody. I've never seen him get fazed. It's my friend Jim Lubinski. And we're running, and I hear someone say, hey. And I look over and it's you. And you're walking with a friend. You're not too far from where we all live. And you stop and you chat with me a little bit, and I introduce my friend Jim. And then we keep running, and he's like, fuck, that was Goldie Hawn. And I'm running and I'm out of breath, and I'm like, yeah, yeah. No, no, she's. It's amazing. Yeah, it's great. We're running for a bit, and he's not seeing anything. He goes, I mean, Jesus, that was Coldie hawn. And I went, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he meets everybody, but it was so nice. And I swear to God, we ran for, like, 45 minutes, and he kept revisiting it. And eventually I was like, I don't know what else to tell you. But, yes, she's a real person who exists.

But I'm just absolutely thrilled. And everyone here in the building is on crazy behavior today.

That's so great.

No, it's really nice. It's nice to see they don't get that way about a lot of people. Erica Brown downstairs was like, college coming in today. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm here, too. Doesn't care.

Nobody cares.

I'm not an icon, but thrilled to have you here.

Thank you, sweetheart. Appreciate it.

And also, I have a thing that I. When I don't know people well, but I know their kids. I can tell a lot about them by the way their kids behave. And they're both lovely people. And to me, I always go to that and then say, there's some good parenting in here. They're very nice people.

They're really nice people.

And I've talked to them both, and I get the sense that you and Kurt, it was not, hey, we're in Beverly Hills, or we're on the west side and we're stars and you're the kids. There was none of that shit going on.

No, none of it. We just. Kurt and I are very similar in terms of that, because whatever happens to your career, you just do the best you can. I mean, it wasn't about wanting to be anything except good at what we did, and we felt that it was our job, right? But when we came home from wherever we were, actually, we're just a normal family. And I used to say to my dad, you know, I had the. That was when I was more single, but I had the two kids, you know, and we'd have coffee together in my house in the morning. He'd come over and we'd sit there, and I said, daddy, I just want to. I just want to have a normal life. And this was right after Private Benjamin. Yeah, that's all I want, you know? And he said, well, go, you know, you're not normal. I said, wait a minute.

This is a good father.

This is not the answer I wanted, okay.

My father told me that when I was four. He was right. Yeah. Hey, we all know, you know, get with him.

But it's. It's really about the focus and, you know, when I. I met Kurt for the first time while we were.

You guys met for the first time a long time earlier. You didn't go out or anything? You met on a project?

Well, I mean, we're talking about what happens, what is life? What are the things we don't understand, which is what I'm more interested in, like, what we can't see the questions of kind of things, of why did that happen? Are there coincidences? Are we on this wild grid somewhere that this is our karma, this is our plan? You know, we don't know. And I've got a million of those things that happened to me, and one of them was Kurt, because I was 21, I was a dancer, and I went to an audition, an open audition at Disney Studios to dance in a movie, right? And I thought, oh, this will be so fun. So I went there, and there was this woman sitting on a bench, and she was lovely, nice woman, blonde. And I went up to her because I was on Dopey drive, but I didn't know where I was. I knew it was dopey drive. I was the dopey because I didn't know where I was going. So now I asked her, I said, do you know where the audition is, you know, for this? And it was like, stage something. And she said, I'll take you there.

So she took me there, and then, of course, we did the audition, and I'm auditioning to be in the chorus, basically. And so with that, it turned out to be that she went back home, and she told everybody that, basically, I saw the girl who was going to get the part. The reason I know that is because that was Kurt's mother.

Oh.

So I met Kurt's mother before I met Kurt. And so I got the part, and I'm trying to think what part? Okay, I got the part. The other weird thing is that I got this part. Of course I got the script. I looked through it. I had no lines. I was just the head dancer. Right, right. But you know what? My name was the giggly girl. I swear, if anybody would have said that was where I was going to end up being known for.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, for me, it was just, like, weird. And then at that particular movie, which.

Is a side story, what's my motivation here as giggly girl? Exactly. What's my story and my art?

So Kurt and I actually danced together separately of the same show, which was like, it was a number we had to do, and it was the horn type and a thing and skipped to my thing, blah, blah, blah. And we both still remember part of the choreography, right? But I didn't really notice him, except he was a handsome young guy, was 16, okay? And I'm 21, so that's not. Never forget it. But then I went to the producer, who asked me to come to his after we finished, and he said, look, we have to do the billing. And he said, you know, we can't really use your name because Goldie sounds like a stripper. This is. And I said, well, goldie is my name. And not only that, it belonged to an amazing woman, and I'm honored to have it, and I will never change it. I was 21 years old, talking to the head of, like, the Disney.

Good for you, though.

That's impressive. You know, sometimes I still can't remember how bold I was.

Right.

But anyway, I said, if you want, bill me, my middle name is Jean, so why don't you bill me as Goldie Jean Hahn? And that might make you feel happier, but I will never and my mother's name and anything ever change my name. Then I met him again years ago.

I mean, years later, you guys meet again, but everything's changed. Many different, very different circumstances.

Yeah. And I was with some other guy. That was the one thing we weren't doing well.

But anyway, you and the other guy weren't doing well.

So anyway, I was producing. Oh, I was producing swing shift, and swing shift, you know, is a film that I was producing for Warner Brothers, and I'm meeting all these guys. I met Kevin Costner and a few other guys for the role of lucky. And then Kurt came in, and I looked at him, and he looked like he'd been up all night long. I mean, he was also.

He may have been knowing Kurt a little bit. He may have been.

I looked at him, I thought, what have you been? Well, he was going through a divorce, and he was with his dad, and they were drinking and whatever, so I learned about that. And then after that meeting was over, he didn't really want to read. He just came off Silkwood, and he didn't want to read. He just wanted to meet me. So we ended up talking, and everybody that I knew ended up being one of our shared people that we love. One was his brother in law, and another one was another guy, Jimmy van Weich. And they were all in the movie. Okay. It turns out that he. Then I met him at lunch with everybody, and I was very attracted to him. I had another like, well, he was french boyfriend.

I like how everyone has very simple, you're giggly, girl. Then there's french boyfriend. No one's got a real name in any of your stories. There's that guy. And it wasn't going well with that guy.

Anyway, I just got into the chase. But anyway, so we went out to lunch at this one room restaurant in France in, actually on Ventura Boulevard. And we sat together. It was really great. And then when he left, because I was there with the producer and everything, he left. But he turned around. It was so romantic. He turned around and. And said across the room, it's okay if I don't get this part, but I sure would like to see you again.

Oh, wow. And in front of everybody.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah. Well, he's not shy.

No, no.

But that was very. That was really interesting. But what really caught me was that he came over to my place at the beach. I had my two little children there. I had Oliver and Katie. They were about. Katie was about four, just going on. And Oliver was six, so they were that, you know, at that whatever break that was six. He was six and she was three and was very young. He went over to the bedroom where they were sleeping and he looked for a long time at Katie sleeping. And then he went over and he looked at Oliver. Long time. And I watched him and I thought, you're amazing. He is a family man. He in depth looked at them, stared at them. And then we went in the other room and we talked and then we went to work. And when my children visited me on the set, I can't explain it, but he was the one for me.

Yeah.

It wasn't just because he was sexy and handsome and all those things you get turned on by. It was because he matched my devotion to children to be number one. And that's where I watched him at the bar, because we were supplant, you know, it was our location. And he was. Had them in his lap and talking to them and so forth. So the seduction was really his personality and his focus on the children. And, you know, I wrote in my diary when I actually was getting a divorce and alone with the children, I wrote in my diary and I was crying and I wrote, I wonder if I'll ever find someone that will love my children the way I do. And it happened. It happened. So the stick and glue of our. Of our relationship, because we don't agree on everything. His politics are different than mine. You know, there's all these things that could divide you. But the one thing that we have, the greatest thing in God's world is our family. And that is where we thrive, it's where we have incredible amounts of joy and really focus on that. And this is the most incredible.

I wouldn't even say it's incredible. It was very credible, but it was. Every child that we had is healthy. They're happy. And you know what I'm doing now with children? I want them to feel happiness, togetherness. I just went over to see my daughter in law. We just had a new grandchild.

Oh, congratulations. That's fantastic.

That's the 8th one, and it was great. But I got, they all moved around us together. So Wyatt moved right on the street he was born on. Katie lives on the same street now. I live up above, not six blocks away. Oliver's down the road and Boston, who is our, my stepson, who is very much, I call my son. He's the greatest ever. He lives up the road. We. So yet today I just was able to stop over to all over Dwya's house and see that my new grandchild and hold and do and be, and be together. What can be better than that? Making a movie.

Yeah. You're saying, yes, I think a movie is better.

No, no, no.

Did I miss anything? Did I miss the point of what Goldie's saying? Cause you get money when you make the movie. Oh, boy. I'm sorry, but am I, am I the only one here who's saying make the movie?

No.

Get someone to get an agent can look after the kids. Goldie, you're doing this all wrong.

I am. Because the money part of it is exactly what you're talking about.

Exactly. I'll talk to you later. We'll get this straightened out. That's why I went into podcasting.

Exactly.

This is where the money is. Actually, it kind of was. So many people would give everything they have that sell their soul to the, the devil. To have any section of your career, the first section of your career, they would take any part of it, and they would give everything away. And what is very clear is that you had this really unprecedented success that you managed to keep leveling up to the next level, and you were clearly determined to not become this two dimensional image to people. You wanted to be who you really are. And of course, in this first part of your career, laugh in. And some of the early movies, people could say, she is the giggly girl, she's the giggly blonde, and they could label you as that. And you were very determined to say, that's not who I am. And I'm going to take some dramatic roles. I'm going to produce. I'm going to do this other stuff. But it felt to me like that is an act of will. That's a very strong act of will to say no. And so where does that come from?

Well, that's a really good question. I think it's part of my nature. I mean, I went to New York at 18 and was left off on 10th Avenue and had no place to stay because the people there actually left for summer. And I'm going, wait a minute, I'm in New York. I got a little suitcase and the thing. I was dancing at the world's fair, so I had a job. I was there. So being a dancer number one since three years old, and you thought of.

Yourself and still think of yourself as a dancer.

As a dancer, exactly. It's because it's a lesson in life. And dancing was not only understanding where your body was at every moment, but, man, we worked hard. And when we danced, we danced hard. When we worked out, we were going to do whatever we could do in order to get better, that was it. Okay, so I had. It was like. It was like an athlete. All right, so you build up a, what I say, grit, real grit, because you fall because, you know. And dancers, obviously, aside from training, they were the low end of the totem pole in every. Every musical, everywhere, because the singers got this thing and the payment, and we broke our ass. Okay. No matter what. But, you know, I like that. I got the grit. I liked it. So when I went off to New York to do this, I went off, of course, not thinking I'd ever come home again. But I literally did it because I believed I could get the audition, go there, can't find a place to live. What do I do, call home? No. I decided to move in for a little bit with my dance instructor and the choreographer, which was a bad idea, because I woke up one night with a vibrator.

Okay. And the vibrator was not in a good spot. And I literally said, so, phil, this isn't going to work. So maybe I need to find an apartment. So I found an apartment.

I left my body. Did anyone else leave their body? I think I left my body. And I went into your body, and I'm in you and you're in my body. You don't want to be there. No, but you're sitting pressed at my muscle mass. I'm thinking about it. Sona went into Goldie's body. Goldie said, get out of my body.

I love it.

This is not a good place.

I want to stay there.

So, okay, so you wake up, vibrator not in a good place. And you say, I think this isn't going to work.

That's right. I mean, I was quite sure it wasn't going to work.

Yeah. Okay. There's a certainty that comes when a vibrator is in the wrong area. Anyway, continue, please continue with this cross examination. That's a binary decision.

Decisions get made very quickly that way. Okay. Now, I. So I went out and I got an apartment, right? Now, I'm just saying this only because you don't go home again. You fight for what you believe in. It is nobody gonna take care of you. You're gonna take care of yourself. Which I was fine. So I went to basically 70 70th street, and I found a one room apartment, lot of roaches, seven police, you know, locks. It was on the door. A guy below, a man, I was saying, was a junk dealer. So he had, like, people lying in the hallway, having been shot up. Now, I'm from a dead end street in Maryland, right? And I thought I went and got the police, and the police, which I said, because I saw him come over and he looked at her. I pulled him. I said, this isn't good. Now, I just moved in the apartment. I'm already telling the police what to do. And the police said, come on, Deirdre, let's go. Come on, Deirdre. And she was one that had just, you know, gotten a fix somewhere.

Yeah.

And then I was scared of Deirdre, because Deirdre was, like, in that, you know, doing that. And then one day I walked out because I was much more afraid of my building than I was outside. I mean, it was like that. And I was walking up the street, and sure enough, she's following me.

No, man.

Oh, my God. So when? Now she's following me. Now I'm freaked out, right? Remember, I'm 19 now, and I go into some coffee shop, and I sit down and I talk to the guy next to me. And I said, no, see that girl? She's got her nose against a thing, and she's looking after me, and I'm scared of her. He said, listen, why don't you come to my office? I'm a chiropractor, and you can sit there for a while and feel comfortable. So I said, okay, that would be great. So he pulls his car around, and I go to New Jersey to his chiropractic.

Wait a minute. This doesn't sound on the level. What I have many times said to women. I'm a chiropractor come with me. And I have no license, and it's. Ladies don't listen. So did you. Was it okay?

Well, you know, after I was sitting in his waiting room for like an hour, I said, you know, I have to get back to the city. I mean, I can't stay here, you know. And then eventually was lying, he drove me back to the city. I said, gee, thanks. That was really great. All I asked for was a little comfort, you know, from this guy. But I thought that I could take solace in his apartment, whatever. His office for a while. No, no, no, no. I drove over the George Washington Bridge. I mean, it was like I was being kidnapped. I mean, I trusted everybody.

Yeah, that's a bad story.

I mean, I have a worse story. Oh, yeah, I have a worse story. So when I came to New York in May, I got this roach and trusted apartment, and I then went to a bathing suit tryout, right? So I had a bag. My bag was bigger than me, and I had my bathing suits in there. And I met this guy wanting to go on the subway. And I met this guy who was a very. Seemed to be a very nice guy. He said, you know, I gotta stop you for a minute. I gotta stop you. Look, you're not gonna believe me. I'm not putting the make on you or anything. He said, look, I've got a watch here. I go with Tuesday weld, who happened to be, at that time in the sixties, like a big deal. And it says, I love you, Tuesday. On it went.

Oh.

I said, oh, okay. He said, but here's the deal, Al Capp. Now I'm standing on a corner. Al Capp just created a television series out of Lil Abner. It's going on to tv, NBC. But you look like just amazing character that he created called tender Leaf Erickson. And what's interesting is that, you know, you have an interesting face. And I thought, I do. I do have an interesting face. I don't call it a beautiful face, but, you know, big eyes. And I thought I probably. Probably look a little strange. But he didn't say to me, you look great. You're gorgeous. No, I have an interesting face. So I believed him. Then he said to me, look, I want to give you a script. I want you to take a look at this. And if you need a ride, because I've stopped you, I've got a car. I'll drop you off at the, you know, wherever you are, you know, to the audition, which was, I don't know, Madison and something. And I just been in New York, so this is not even a month. And my job is basically, you know, in flushing because I was at the World's fair, so I was doing can on top of a bar at the Texas pavilion.

So anyway, you know, he called me a little bit and warmed me up, and, you know, it was like, hmm. Oh, you know, it's cute. He gives me a script, and then I said, this is awesome. And he said, I want you to talk to Al Capp. He's getting an award, like, man of the year award in Kansas City or some university. And I talked to him, and he sounded very nice and really looking forward to meeting you. And I call mom and dad, and I went, this is so great. I mean, you know, I. This will be great. I'm nervous about it. But now time comes, and I get into a cab and I go over to Fifth Avenue, an apartment. Like, I'm going, oh, my God. From Roche City all the way up to the Fifth Avenue apartment. And I went in, they're expecting me. I get in the elevator, and then the butler comes out and he says, oh, goldie, we've been waiting for you. Wonderful. Welcome. And I sit down in his lovely apartment, and he said, mister Capp is not here yet. He said, but he likes his women to pour his tea.

Okay, that was a moment. Then he brings out a 400 pound sterling silver tea set with tea in it. And now I'm sitting there looking at the teapot and wondering if I even had the fulcrum to be able to lift the teapot, to know how to pour it into the cup. And I had to do this in my elbow because, I mean, come on. Then he comes in. Golden, how lovely to see you. I'll be right back. Goes into his room. He comes back in a dressing gown. He limped a little.

Hmm.

So then he goes, he sits down. We have a conversation. I then started getting worried about his ladies pouring his tea. So I explained to him that I just got here from New York, and I've been dancing, and I've got a really good family. And I wanted him to think well of me, so I wasn't one of those girls. And I told him, you know, my mom, daddy was really interested in me working. He was such support. But, you know, my mom really wanted me to end up marrying a jewish dentist. And that's kind of the way it worked, right? And so that was great. And he said, well, okay, so now I'm reading for him. He was very legit. He said, look, you're projecting too much. So remember there's microphones. And now I'm reading this part. I don't remember who she was. And then he said, now I'd like you to go over to the end of the room, and I want you just, just make me the camera so I can get an idea and just, you know, look a little stupid. I mean, look, look kind of, you know, like you're just, you know, and like an imbecile.

So now I'm trying to, you know, work on this and going, okay, I have to look like an imbecile. So I'm going to take the beads and put it out on my. I like pop beads on the 60. And I put them in my mouth and I walked toward him and look just stupid. I mean, I just trying to look like, what is that little thing? And now I'm looking at him. And now he said to me, now, you know what? You could play Daisy May. Now, I did Lil Abner in school. I know that play backwards and forwards, all the music. No, I was not Daisy May. Very buxom. You know, shorts, you know, really sexy, you know, one of those. And so I thought I'm. This isn't, this is weird. So he said, I'd like you to put. I'd like to see your legs.

Oh, my God.

So I went over by this smokey mirror. And now keep in mind, dancers are not shy. I mean, we dance with, you know, things on and whatever. So when you're dancing and you're doing go go, which I did. I danced on tables, too. Is that you shake it, you do it, you know, you got. And you have like high cut leotards and you, you know, you change in the thing and the wings, you know, you, you're fine. You've got your underpants on. You're covered. Whatever. So I wasn't shy, but I was dubious. And so now I remember, I know exactly what I was wearing. It's amazing when you have these moments. It was a pink knit, maybe mini, beginning mini, not much, just over the top of the knees. And now I pull my skirt up just a little bit. He said, more? So I pulled it up another inch and he said, higher. And I said, no, that's it. I'm done. He said, okay. He said, goldie, come on over here. So I go over. He has now taken out his penis. It was, I mean, I'm telling you, it was not a pretty picture.

I mean, I love penises, but I mean, this was not a good one. And he and it was flipped over. This his situ. It basically was a wooden leg. So he limped. And the reason is, is that, you know, he had a wooden leg. He didn't. Bless his heart, he didn't have a thing, but he did have another leg. And that leg, he said, now come over here and give me a little kiss. And I looked at him. I looked at his limb, other limb. I looked his wooden. I came back and I said, mister Cat, I will never get a job like this.

Wow.

I will never do that. He said, well, I've had them all. You're going to go nowhere in this business. I've had them all. You name it. He said, so it's done. And I said, okay. And I was upset. And then I said, okay. I said, I better get going because I'm going to be late for my work at the World's fair. And he threw $20 at me. And he said, take a cab. And I went out there. And I went there. I did all my show. That was a huge show we did. It wasn't just a can can. It was 40 minutes of dancing straight. I mean, truly hard. And I'm trying to shake the fringe. It's black fringe. I'm trying to do all this stuff. And I was, like, bereaved. The fella that I had been seeing a bit was down below, basically, was the bartender, and stage was above the bartender. He caught and he said, listen, let's. Let me take you out for a drink now. I said, okay. So we went back to the endive, which was just by the 59th street bridge, and it was basically a bar. And I sat there at the bar, and one of his friends came up.

His friend had a car, and it was about 230 in the morning, just driving us home. And we go on west side highway, and this is all in one day. We were pushed over by a taxicab into a light pole. At that time, the west side highway was horrible, and we crashed. I saw it coming. I went underneath the dashboard. It was a. No bucket seats in those days. No seatbelts. I was in the middle. The two guys were on either side of me. We hit this light pole. I was knocked out. I remember that there's somebody pulling at me and asking, is she alive? They cut everything to try to get to me. I don't know what was happening to the boys. They took me to the hospital. The ambulance, I guess I don't remember any of it. And I woke up with a nurse trying to get x rays. And, you know, I vomited all over her. And she was so mean, by the way. She said, you just had the dry heaves, you know. And then, of course, I didn't. And now my friend came in. He had a gash on his nose.

The other fellow that was driving had a gash in his knee. I had a little gash in my leg and a concussion. Only God could have saved us from that. Only God. And as it turned out, to end this particular story, I woke up in my apartment that I do not remember going into. I woke up to the phone ringing, and it happened to be this fella, the one who got me.

And he said, the one who connected you?

Yes, Peter.

Yeah.

So Peter said, you fucked everything up, didn't you? I told you to be nice to him. I told you to do this, and you fucked everything up. And I said, peter, go back to Tuesday weld and leave me alone.

Jesus.

I then made it to the bathroom. I was so dizzy, I threw up again. And then I realized I had nobody in New York. I didn't have. The only number I had. The new number I had was his. So I picked up the phone, and by the grace of God, I remembered that number. And I called him back up. And I said, peter, I'm sorry, but I was in a really bad accident last night, and I'm alone. And he was just horrified. He hung up. He came to my house. He lived right down the street to my apartment. And he had roses. And he said, oh, I'm so sorry. He said, I'm just a pimp for Al cap. And you're such a nice person. He took me to the hospital.

He pretty much. He admitted it.

He said, yes. And he was 26 years old, and I was 19. So he was a kid, in which case, after that, my mom came for two weeks. And then until I started feeling better. And then I'm going to jump to something really crazy right now, because it'll end the story. Truly end the story. When I go places, I like to see holy places. I like to see people who might have a gift of the future. I'm interested in all the things like you said. And so I was now with Kurt. We had made protocol. Kurt had made another movie. We decided to go to Nepal, do some hiking, came back, went to Thailand. And now we're in Thailand. And I said to someone that we had met there from, I would love to find someone, a psychic or something. So we went to all the beautiful places. But we went and met this guy. His name was Sonny. Young man. He sat down at a thai restaurant where we met him. And he's looking at me, looking at all the things. He starts writing and they're all sort of geometrics. And he looked at me and he said, did you almost die when you were around 1920?

Something like that? And I said, no, no, I didn't. He said, it's written. You just think back. And then I remembered my accident and I remembered that I left my body and saw, I got the chills and saw myself being pulled out and all of that. And I thought, I wonder if that was meant to happen. And then I went back to my body because I then said to him, I said, no, actually I was in a really bad accident. Ah, he said, because it says that your life changed very quickly after that. And I did, I went to LA. I got, I had a job in LA. I caught my hair. I went to think, I danced in Vegas. Next thing I come back, I'm excited. I got a job dancing on the Andy Griffith and show and thing. And I was like home free. And it was amazing. And I was going to be used, Nick Castle, as a choreographer, I'm going to use you in everything. And so an agent comes up to me on the show, services the shows and I was just with twelve beautiful girls and he asked me, do you have an agent?

And I said, I don't really. And he said, I'd like to talk to you. And of course, do I trust men at that point? Not really. So I figured it was just that guy. It was like, I'm not really. I'm going to the William Morris office. You got to be kidding. They called. Are you coming? We're expecting you, whatever this is, after the show is over. And I said, oh, you mean this is real? You mean he really does want to see me? And, well, you get over here, you know, we're at William Morris, we're all waiting for you. And so I get in my car, which, by the way, the car was like 54 forward. And every time I made a right hand turn, the left hand door opened. So.

I kind of a signal. It works like a signal.

Excuse me. I mean, I used to, you know, just one hand make a right hand turn. I couldn't do left hands or that, you know, I get up there, I go to William Morris. They're all sitting there and all the agents are sitting there and they're just adorable. They're all, you know, they all have jaguars is all I can say. They all had jaguars and they were sitting there. And then my, this young agent said, I have a feeling about her. Cut to. They said, well, if you sign her, you know, go and sign her. If you believe in her, you know. And I don't have. I don't say a word. So now, next thing I know, you put me up for this thing. Oh, she's too young for that. She shouldn't be in that. He said, I just want them to see her. Now, this was, you know, Persky and Denof. These are all, you know, big people. Big, funny people. And this was a three camera show. I go in there, I do the audition. I come out, I go home. My agent called my new agent, and he said, you got the part.

Is this good morning, world?

Yes.

Okay. I have. I have a brother, Neil. And my listeners are probably familiar with Neil. And he knows everything. Everything about television, especially sixties, seventies, everything. And he's always bringing up the thing that you don't expect him to say. And so I say, I'm really excited because I'm going to talk to Goli Han tomorrow. And he went, oh, my God. Cause he loves you. And he's like, oh, my God. That's amazing. That's fantastic. And there's 75 things that are huge hits that people associate with Goldie Han. And he says, ask her about good morning, world. Oh, my God. With Ronnie Shell.

Oh, my God.

And I'm like, what? And he went, yes. Oh, my God. Good morning, world. I have all nine episodes. And I said, you know what? I might. And then I'm thinking, no, I'm not. And then you bring me, like you say, there's a magic in the world.

Exactly.

So I know about the sitcom you got. That was before you got laughing.

Exactly.

Which turned you, like, which blew up crazily.

Yeah. I mean, really? That is so insane.

But the fact that my brother Neil, he's always doing that. If I said, oh, I'm gonna go see Jane Fondi. He'll say, well, ask her about, you know, the time that she was on have gun, will travel as a 13 year old opposite Burt Mustin. And I'll be like, what? Oh, yeah, no, 1959. She was great. She said, help. Help. Get the sheriff. I'm like, what? Well, how about all the other shit Jane Fauna did? Oh, yeah. Okay. You can ask her about that. But anyway, that's so cool that you brought that up.

Nobody knows about that.

Neil does.

I mean, now, one person.

God bless you, Neil. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

But you know, everything you're talking about, you know, we live in this new reality now. Thank God, I hope. Where everything that happened to you is crazily actionable. We'd like to think that that's over, but the fact that that was just a part of the life of 19 year old attractive blonde who comes from a really good family and is just trying to make it, and that's. That's. Yeah, that happens. Oh, yeah. Well, what happened, you know, that's just part of it is absolutely insane and kind of devastating.

Oh, definitely. I mean, it was like, my mother wrote me a letter, and she said, I'm very happy, sweetheart, but remember, only you can make people care about you. Your producers don't matter. And there's this little thing called the casting couch. And she said, just be aware of that, because the one person that has to make it is you. You have to be prepared. You have to be good enough to know that you will be the one that the audience will applaud. It's not about your producer. So we. I had a work ethic.

Yeah.

I also. A year later, just as a coda to this story, a guy stops me on 8th Avenue as I'm going down to another audition. He stops me. His name is Jeff Tuffler. And he said, stop. Listen, I gotta. I gotta tell you something. You look like just. You look like a character that Al Capp just created, and I want to talk to you about it.

Oh, no, boy.

And I yelled at him, and I said, don't come to me with that. I know exactly who you are. I was. I was taken by another pimp just like you. I said, so I'm not. I'm not interested. And he said, can I buy you a hamburger? And I said, yes because I didn't have any money.

Yeah, you always say yes to a hamburger.

I mean, please. When do you turn that down?

Yeah.

So while I was eating the hamburger, I said, I just want to say one thing to you. I live at eight. Eight. Eight Avenue. And you put a contract in my mailbox because I'm not doing this. I then go to audition to be a Cobra girl, and there he is. And I went over to him and I said, I'm telling every girl here who you are. Yeah, but it's kind of like when we have ethics, you know? Those are ethics. Those are stand up and be counted.

Yeah.

And I was fearless about what I believed to be ethical and true. And I guess at the end of the day, it's who we are. Yeah, it's who we are.

I'm curious if. Cause I remember it was such a. Such a big deal when you did Private Benjamin, that you were a producer, it was very unusual.

You know, I didn't look ever at my career as climbing the ladder. I went through anxiety when they pulled me out of the chorus and put me into a show because I wanted to dance. I had preconceived ideas of what I was going to do and thrilled about the opportunity to be dancing on all kinds of shows. I'm not that person who has the kind of ambition and what is me to prove to anybody else. It was a practical decision to produce that movie because we didn't need Rey Stark, we didn't need any great big producer. We had an amazing script. You've got producers on your movie, they're counting the money line, producers and so forth. There are no argument about the film. It was going to be great. We had a relationship and I did with the head of the studio. And the end of the day is that it was practical. We didn't need to spend more money on the budget for a big producer that's going to take a piece of the movie. This was a business decision. It wasn't a decision that I'm going to show him. It was really practical.

So when this happened and we produced the movie and we had wonderful writers and it was an amazing experience. But on the other side, the next thing I know, my agent or whatever, my pr got me the COVID of Newsweek and on it it said dumb as a fox. And what that was was like a, I say a double edged sword, because suddenly this person was perceived one way is now suddenly producing. And that was a hail, that was like a very cool thing. But then directors, so forth, really felt like I wanted to do my own thing. I ran my own show. Everything had to be the way I want it to be. And that's where we get into the glass ceiling, how the people treat you, how they look at you until you make another hit, another thing. But I only looked at that from a perspective of looking at life. It wasn't easy for girls to say, I can. And there's a lot of machinations and adjustments to make when you do have an idea. Because if you do have an idea, it's kind of like this, and say, listen, I got an idea.

Why don't we do this? No, it used to have to be, hey, you know what? I just had an idea. Different reading, different world, not that quite the same anymore. But back then it was. I mean, even Herb Ross was another story who I knew, my mother knew as a little boy. I asked him to do protocol, to direct it and he went back to the studio and said, yeah, but doesn't you have to run everything? So there's a perception about aggressive women, women that do things like this. I had no inclination, I had no focus on future. I never said, oh, good, you know, I'm going to produce. The reason I started producing after that is because I realized that for this girl who landed from Mars was not going to be asked to do everything because it was kind of a niche, it was kind of a specialized thing. I wasn't going to do, you know, Sophie's choice. Okay. I knew that there was specific things that I would probably fit into, but I also had something to say about women, about who we are, about things that are women's stories that actually can teach, that can make people feel elated, that can support that, whether it's, you know, a football coach or, you know, whatever protocol showing the lies in Washington, which I wanted to do.

And so I was able to, like, create from my heart, not just to feel like I got. I won. And that's who and where I am as a person.

I mean, you see it in politics all the time today. It's still going on where if a male is in a certain role and they're doing it, that's one thing. And then if a woman is in this holds this exact same office, people think she's bossy. She just seems like they have, they put a different spin on it. There is still, I don't know if I want to say latent misogyny or maybe it's overt misogyny, but there's a thing where if you say no, I'd like to actually have some of the decisions. It's. Why does Goldie have to run in everything?

Exactly.

I'm hoping that's changing.

Well, I think it does, but there's a definitive shift. But I have a theory now, obviously, I'm, you know, working with neuroscience and children in the classrooms and things we can talk about later. But I, after understanding more about the brain, the male brain and the female brain are so different. The female brain can do eight things at once. They get shit done. They decide they're going to do this. They do it. They're busy, they fix things. They're whatever. They're fixers, or they. They literally are, you know, basically these thought people who actually, we bring in understanding about how to fix it, because we. Now that's this. The male, I think, especially now, isn't doing as well as the women. Women are graduating college. They have jobs. The boys are not doing as well. You know, this is a very interesting shift right now, but I think basically, there is a. A bias in terms of women, because when a woman gets mad, it's scary. When a woman is feeling angry or ranting or off, that is not good because men don't like it. They don't. They hate it. And I don't know whether it's a mother thing, because, you know, mother's nurturer.

She's this, she's that, and the man's the strong guy, and he's the one who goes to work, and there's all kinds of images going on. But down deep, I ask that question of how men actually feel. What do we call emasculated with this, which is a bad feeling. And that's where we can get a lot of the ubering over. That kind of feeling when you're in a situation is fragility.

It's funny you say that, because I am fragile. That's all the time we have for today. And emasculated. That was a long time ago. It was a farming accident. No, it's just funny you say that, because I am not fearful of an angry man, but when a woman is upset, I freeze up. I'm terrified of a woman being upset, not necessarily even angry. But it's fascinating to go back and I think upsetting. Course it has something to do with mom. Of course it has something to do with. There's so much going on with us, and if we could get in there and pull out the wiring a little bit and look at it, we would understand better. But I know with my wife, it helped so much when I was able to say to her years ago, when we were first married, when you get upset about something, it's terrifying for me. And she said, oh, I didn't know. And then we were able to figure that out. And then I started drinking. And that really helped. No, it helped a lot. Alcohol is a. I want to make sure I get to this because it's very important.

You referenced it, and it's this nonprofit classroom program that you've been developing. I think you started in 2003 called mind up. This is working with children. What age are involved in this?

This is preschool until 8th grade.

Yeah.

That's when our little brains and our brains are growing at a breakneck speed. And what we plant in there and what we share with them, the earlier they are, the more they adapt it into their firing of their neurons and how they're looking at this, whether it's through their hippocampus which is the memory, or whether it's understanding the process of their brains and their emotional brains. We teach them that from kindergarten. We have little puppets. We do things like that. And as we move on, I believe that if you don't teach a child about how their brain works, how are they going to learn, really? How are they going to help self manage their emotions, really, how are they going to have compassion, empathy, and understand what someone else might be feeling? These are things that we basically help with in the classroom. And it's not after school, it's not a sometimes program if, when it's adopted, it's adopted by teachers and principals and school superintendents. Why now? Because now. Now among any other time, we all know the crisis that we're having with our children's mental health. I started this basically in 2002, maybe when I started thinking about it, I was in my meditation room, and it came to me because obviously I have been working on my years ago, my analysis and understanding my behavior, stress factors, my past, all these things that can inform where you are.

And this is when I was going through my anxiety. Then I went to meditation, and I got TM meditation since 1972. And it was the most extraordinary experience I had, diving into the quieting of the mind, being in a room by myself, no noise, and I could really feel the beating of my heart and going inward, especially if you like yourself. And I did. I was just having these panic attacks. It sort of made me come back to who I am to meet myself. And with that, I got curious about, what's this doing to my brain? And I started looking at brain, at neuroscience, at which point I started going to conferences, because now I've learned from Richie Davidson, who was one of the first researchers to understand what happens to the brain when you're in meditation was on the COVID of Time magazine. Why nobody hooked onto that right away, I have no idea. Because this is a precursor to health. And we learned that it even thickens the cortex, that it balances out the center of the brain, both left and right, and creates more peace. We are dealing now with a very stressful world.

I started looking into this at the meantime. I also was doing a documentary developing it on in search of joy around the world. And the reason I wanted to do that is because I felt that we weren't but experiencing it as people. Enough joy. These things are good for the heart, it's good for the mind, it's good for the body, it's good for your relationships. It also helps you when we're going through hard times to know that there is that joy inside of you. There is the laughter you had when you were a baby, an infant. It's still there, but we need to dig it up. So that's what that was happening. In the meantime, I was learning a lot about the connection between happiness, joy and the brain, and the brain function. So whilst I was doing this, 911 happened, and all I could think about was my fear of the atom bomb as a young girl. And I thought, our world is going to change forever. And I looked at children's stats and data, and at that time, in the beginning of 2010, year olds to 15 were committing suicide. I cannot. That, to me, was the most important thing that we, if we have any answers at all, any ideas at all how to help.

And I did. I said, this is not possible. Our children should be happy. They deserve to be happy, even if it's just in their classroom. I want to create classrooms that are optimistic, fun to be in. And this is what happened. So I created mind up, and that was the beginning. And I researched it in Vancouver, british Columbia. And the research was so extraordinary that we researched it again. Same outcomes. Children could make themselves happier. They could reduce their stress better by understanding the amygdala, the prefrontal cortex, and the hippocampus, and how they work together and how to calm down so their prefrontal cortex can open up, learn, analyze, figure things out, solve problems. They learn that. So now the children will come up and say, either I need a brain break, or they will tell you they need to breathe, to breathe. Now we know deep breathing, slow, deep breathing. We now know what that does for the brain. And it's extraordinary.

There's a common misconception, I think. I think most people think that, oh, this is my brain. So that you can work on your muscles, you can work on your joints, your brain is what you're handed, and that's your brain. And even I believed that. And then I got interested in cognitive therapy because I was having a lot of issues with anxiety, and just a bunch of years ago, and it was all about the neuroplasticity of the brain. Your brain is actually something that can be. You can reroute, it can be changed, it can be changed for the positive. And I was doing this when I was in my late thirties, forties, and it made a big difference, and I made different pathways. I didn't stick with some of the irish, Catholic, inherited Boston, Massachusetts, anxious kid. I changed some of them, and it is. I completely believe in everything you're saying it's been proven to work. I've had this conversation many times. My daughter is a lot like me, and when she was a little girl and she'd get anxious, I used to lie on the floor of her room and tell her, okay, well, that's your.

Let's talk about your worry brain. And I would try and remove her from that, saying, that's your worry brain. I have one of those, too. And kind of acting like it's a refrigerator that sometimes acts up if you leave the door open too long and then the motor turns on. So what you got to do is almost understand it the way it's a piece of machinery, and you can. And so we still have back and forth about, yeah, my worry brains give me a hard time. Well, you're able to remove yourself from it, step outside of it, and remove yourself from it.

Exactly. So you create objectivity, and with that objectivity, you get to have metacognition, which is your ability to watch yourself. And that's an amazing thing. We don't have. There's no other animal that has that. We're looking at dolphins and elephants to see but truly cognition in that way. Yeah, we have that. We have the ability to watch ourselves. It's unbelievable. It's so fun.

And you mentioned 911. The thing I hear about a lot from young people is they're growing up in a world where they're being told twenty four seven, and it's, you know, they're being told it for a good reason, climate change. And so there's so many young people and kids that are being bombarded with, the world's on fire. And I talk to so many young people, and their attitude sometimes is, well, it's over. And I want to say, no, it's not over. It's not over. I don't want to be stupid. I don't want to be condescending, I don't want to be Pollyanna, but I do want to say to them, this world can and will get better. We can fix things. And kids shouldn't grow up thinking it's over. And it's like the fifties. I mean, I grew up in the. I came of age in the sixties and early seventies. It was the. The bomb. And then, of course, everything follows something else, and then you're worried about the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.

And so I never thought I'd live to kiss a boy.

Me, too.

You know, I was.

But I come here. That was a magical moment we had. Okay, here's my issue. Yeah, it is. My God. I had a list of 155 things I wanted to talk to you about, and we're out of time. And I hope I can get you back here at some point because you have had, I mean, and continue to have one of the most incredible lives of anybody I've ever talked to. And I've talked to everybody. Oh, sweetheart, seriously, like, you have. I mean, just. And I mean, I have questions about, you know, you, you. And we can't get into it now, but you win an Oscar when you're 24 for cactus flower. You're in London shooting a movie with Peter Sellers, and you don't even know, and someone calls you up and says, you won. And you say, won what an Oscar. And you went, oh, okay. And then I'm told you didn't look at the footage of you.

No.

Of your name being read by my hero.

And this was Fred Astaire.

Fred Astaire reads your name on stage and says, and the winner for cactus Flower is Goldie Hawn. You're in London. You don't know. And you didn't see the footage till fairly recently.

I know. I know.

You didn't even know it was Fred Astaire. I mean, there's stuff like that. I have about 750,000 questions for you. I love this conversation. And it was incredible. And I'm gonna call Neil, my brother Neil, the minute this is over, and tell him, guess what came up in the interview. Good morning, world with Ronnie Shell. Oh, my God. And I'm just. I'm over the moon and delighted. But there's part of me that's like, how do we trick Goldie into coming back and talking some more someday? So I hope we get. We can figure that out.

I would love to do that.

I'll pull up in front of your house. I'll tell you. I'm a chiropractor.

Oh, boy.

The next thing you know, you're in a podcast, too, and you're like, it's this asshole again. But seriously, this was an absolute thrill and so kind of just stunned. I think all of us are a little bit. To be in a room with you and to find out that you are the person that we hoped you would be and knew you would be. So thanks. God bless you, and please come back in like, 2 hours. You're still giggly, girl.

Yeah, well, whatever.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, sonam of session and matt gourley, produced by me, Mac gourley, executive produced by Adam Sachs. Nick Liao and jeff ross at team coco and colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy vivino. Take it away, jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron blair, and our associate talent producer is jennifer samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burens. Additional production support by Mars Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on. A future episode got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.